Depression/ anxiety one shots

Patio finding part 2 ( tw sh talk⚠️)

Part two as requested, forgive any continuity errors, I did re-read part one before writing this but I'm extremely tired🫶

In the morning I woke up relaxed, until I remembered the events of the previous night.

I had told them I would talk about it and really I didn't want to. I was angry at myself for getting them involved.

Instead of crawling back under my covers like I wanted to, I got up and went into the living room where both Aspen and Kellen were sitting and talking.

" Oh good you're up, how do you feel?" Aspen asked.

"Yeah want some coffee? There's some in the pot still." Kellen chimed in.

" I'm fine, and no thanks, I'm alright." I answered.

" Margot, I don't want to make you talk if you don't want to. I'm, we, are just concerned about you." Aspen said.

" I know, it's just hard." I replied. " But I'll try and talk about it."

I sat down across from the two of them.

" What do you want to know?" I asked.

" How long have you done this?" Kellen asked off the bat.

" Since I was 14." I answered.

" Jesus." Kellen said shocked and Aspen elbowed them. "Sorry." They apologized on cue.

" No, it's okay. I know, it's been a long time." I assured them.

" How can we help keep you safe?" Aspen questioned.

" That's a tough one, because I don't exactly want to be kept safe ya know, that kinda defeats the whole purpose." I answered painfully honestly. " I know that's not the answer you wanted."

" So you don't want to get clean?" Aspen asked razing an eyebrow in slight confusion.

" Truthfully, not really. I have no other way to combat my dissociation." I said.

" Could we help you find other ways?" Kellen suggested.

" I guess I'm open to suggestions." I responded.

" That's good, okay so let's brainstorm." Aspen said.

" What about a cold ass shower?" Kellen suggested.

" Uh, maybe." I replied, not particularly looking forward to testing that option.

" That might be good if you're home alone Margot, but I think we can think of better ones for when either Kellen or I am home." Aspen said.

" Okay, any ideas? I don't want to make you guys help me though, that feels like a lot." I replied.

" I'm happy to help you Margot." Kellen said.

" Same here hun, always, and I was thinking maybe a pressure distraction. Something like one of us doing tight braids in your hair for you, or massaging your shoulders. Thoughts on that type of thing?" Aspen asked me.

" It sounds promising, but I'd have to try to know." I answered.

" Okay so how about we do that. If you want to hurt yourself because the dissociation is too much, come get one or both of us and we can try it yeah?" They continued.

" Okay." I said. " As long as you promise it's not too much for you guys."

" It's not." Aspen and Kellen said in unison.

" Alright then." I said nodding. " I'm willing to try."

The two of them hugged me happily and the rest of the day went by mostly smoothly, with only a mild bit of dissociation that night.

A couple days later though I was starting to feel really dissociative, and I thought about hurting myself. I was just not gonna tell my friends so they wouldn't be burdened, but I knew how upset they'd be if they found out, so I knocked on Aspen's door around 11:00pm instead.

" I need help." I said.

" Dissociative?" They asked.

" Yeah." I replied.

" You want me to get Kellen too or no, up to you?" They offered.

" Sure." I replied.

" Alright, go sit on the carpet for me will you." They told me.

I ventured to the living room and took a seat,crossed legged on the floor.

Aspen got Kellen and the two of them joined me in the living room.

"Okay Margot, I think I'm gonna kneel behind you and rub your shoulders, and Kellen is gonna sit in front of you and massage your hands, is that okay with you?" Aspen asked clearly.

" Yeah." I answered.

Aspen gestured to Kellen to take my hand as they began rubbing my shoulders.

It felt nice, though slightly painful because my shoulder muscles were stiff, but it was distracting. I needed noise though.

" Can you talk to me?" I asked Kellen.

" Yeah sure, what about?" They asked.

" Anything." I replied. " Your day, whatever, it's just too quiet."

" Okay, well today I went to work, then took a yoga class where there was a really hot instructor, I got her number, and uh, I went grocery shopping. There's so many vegetables in the fridge now, help yourself." They rambled. " I was thinking about making a soup, would you eat some soup?"

" Yeah, I'd eat soup." I replied.

" Cool." They replied back.

I winced as Aspen went over a particularly tender spot.

" You doing okay? Want me to stop?" They asked me.

" No, it's helping, don't stop." I responded.

Both my friends kept on doing what they were doing for the next ten minutes or so until I felt kinda okay and said they could stop.

" Thanks guys, that actually helped a lot." I said.

" I'm glad." Aspen said. " So, could we keep doing this type of thing instead of you self harming?"

" Yeah, I'll try to stay clean, and thanks again, so much, but it's late and I've kept you both up so go to bed." I said.

" Okay, thank you, goodnight." Aspen replied and hugged me.

" Yeah, night Margot, I'm glad you're okay." Kellen said and we all retreated to our rooms.