Depression/ anxiety one shots

I got you ⚠️sh

" Breathe baby , breathe. Tell me what's wrong ." My boyfriend said when I called him crying.

" I can't , never mind, I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry . I'm so sorry . I'll leave you alone now" I said regretting interrupting him at work.

" No baby , do not hang up on me . Please love, just talk to me . You aren't being a burden, I'm on break so don't even worry , okay?" He said .

" Are you sure?" I asked still crying.

He replied, " Yes love , of course I'm sure. You can tell me anything."

" Okay , well, I'm trying really really hard babe." I said trying to ease him into what I was going to say.

" Trying hard at what baby?" He asked concerned.

" Trying to be strong , and um, that's why I called , because um...." I said trying to get it out .

" You got this love, just tell me , I'm here for you whatever it is. I love you." He reassured me.

" I am, um, trying to avoid hurting myself." I spit out and my sobs became louder and more painful.

" Okay, okay, it's okay love ,what can I do for you ?" He asked and I could hear the increase of worry in his voice.

" I don't know . I just felt if I told you , I'd be held accountable or something. I don't know , I'm sorry , I'm really so sorry for bringing you into my mess. You know what, I think I'm fine now , don't even worry." I said almost too fast for him to understand.

" We both know that's not true baby. I'm coming home and I'm going to help , okay. Where are you right now and what are you doing ?" He asked .

" I'm in the bathroom on the floor staring at the blade on the counter ." I cried .

" Can you do something for me sweetheart? Please leave the bathroom and go sit on the couch in the living room, so I know you'll be safe until I can get there ." He directed me.

I slowly stood up from the bathroom floor and made my way to the couch like he asked .

" Okay , I'm on the couch ." I said .

" Good job , I'm so proud of you baby. I'll be there in like 10 , so distract yourself while you wait . There's a word puzzle thing on the coffee table I think . Why don't you do one of them for me?" He suggested.

I picked it up and started finding the words in the puzzle and circling them . I was on my 9th word when the front door opened. While looking for the words my crying slightly subsided, but once he walked through the door I broke down again. He quickly closed the door and dropped his stuff , rushing over to console me.

" It's okay baby, shh, I got you , I got you, you did so well." He said while engulfing me in a hug.

He stayed that way until I began to calm down again a little .

" How are you feeling ? Still wanting to hurt yourself hunny?" He asked softly .

" The urge has mostly passed , but can I please lay back in your arms ? You make me feel safe." I said still slightly crying.

" Of course love . Come here ." He said as he pulled me close to him again. " I'm not going to pressure you to say anything, but if you want to talk about it , I just want you to know I don't judge you and I'm here to listen."

I lay silent for probably another 20 minutes before speaking .

" I started self harming a couple years ago . On again, off again. I'm 3 months clean and today was just really hard for no reason . I told myself if it was bad like this again , I'd call someone ,because me hurting myself just ends up hurting other people, so I called you." I said hoping he wouldn't be upset.

" You are amazing, you are strong , and I love you so incredibly much . You have no idea how proud I am of you right now . Also I want you to know that had this went down a different way and you couldn't make the phone call in time , that I'd still be proud of you. You don't have to succeed every time , it's the trying that counts .So , if or when you have another day like this , call me wherever I am, wake me up in the middle of the night , scream at me from down the hall, anything . It also doesn't matter if it's before, during or after something happens. I'll be there no matter what because you are my world and I'll do anything it takes to help you." He belted out .

" Thank you. I love you so much." I said and began to cry once again but happy tears, because I've never had someone who loved me in my life the way he does.