Depression/ anxiety one shots

Twins sh, suicide attempt tw⚠️

Very unedited

My name is Lilac. My twin brother is Exey (Ee- Zay). Exey and I were always so close. I knew everything about him and he thought he knew everything about me.

One day he was getting home and I was lying on the living room floor staring at the ceiling fan go round and round.

" What the fuck are you doing?" He asked walking into the living room. " Are you high Lie? "

" No, I am not." I replied with a monotone voice and without facing him.

"Explain then. What's wrong with you?" He asked.

" Nothing, I'm fine." I said.

He grabbed my arm to pull me up and that's when my sleeve fell down and he saw the cuts and scars all over my arm.

" Holy shit Lie!" He exclaimed. " Why are you doing this to yourself?"

" Because you have no idea how nice it is to feel for once in a while when you never ever do. Exey I feel nothing, I don't care about a thing, and I go out and do stuff and act like I'm okay, but I'm not okay. I'm empty. I just exist." I said.

" I'm so sorry, but you have to stop. It'll be okay, I'm here for you, but you're done with that now understand." He said.

" No Exey, I can't stop. I'm sorry but I can't stop." I said.

" Well I'm not giving you a choice Lie. You are done with this and if I catch it happening again I'm going to be unhappy with you, ya hear?" He told me sternly but I could tell it wasn't meant that way.

" Yes I understand." I said.

For the next month or so he would check my wrists twice a day, once in the morning and once at night, and the one time I did end up relapsing he was pissed; he roughly cleaned me up and took me to a therapy appointment the next day. I appreciated the care but I hadn't had a moment alone for nearly a month except for in the shower.

I tolerated it for another month before I was exhausted and felt more like a problem than a person. One night before my shower I took a knife from the kitchen when Exey was looking away and once I got in the shower I cut myself up real bad because I felt such nothingness I just wanted to feel.

I felt myself getting dizzy and then I fell and smacked my head on the shower side and I pulled the shower curtain down over me in an attempt to keep myself up.

Exey rushed through the door when he heard me fall and saw me passed out in the shower.

" Fuck Lie why did you do this!" He yelled and woke me up.

He called 911 and didn't move me in case that would've been bad. The paramedics came and took me to the hospital. I had a concussion and had to get a shit ton of stitches. When they finally let my brother in with me I thought he would go off on me and I was scared. He didn't though.

" Hey Lie, how ya doing? Not in too much pain I hope?" He asked kindly, surprising me.

" Been better but fine. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, I'm sorry I failed, I'm just so sorry." I said.

" Absolutely not." He said back to his stern self. " You are no burden Lilac. None at all. I'm so very happy that you failed. Please don't try again." He begged.

" I'll try harder." I said.

" All I could ask." He replied.

My mom ended up showing up and gave me an even worse lecture than Exey would give me. I felt so bad but when he came back from getting something to drink, he saw her yelling at me and pulled her out of the room.

" Thank you." I mouthed so she wouldn't hear me.