Depression/ anxiety one shots

Neighbor tw sh ⚠️

I was having another hard night and decided to post on the anonymous online forum for my city. I know it makes me seem like a loser, and I am, so I guess I don't really care how it makes me look.

"I'm having a rough night and the sh urges won't go away. Any advice would be much appreciated." I posted.

I scrolled through other posts and there were really only a few because it was later in the night and people were probably in bed going to sleep, if not already sleeping. I decided that I shouldn't put my fate in random strangers' hands and deleted the post after only a few minutes of it being up.

I was just going to do it and get it over with because I was tired and wanted to sleep, but my head wouldn't let me stop thinking about it. I just wanted to sleep, that's all, but I know that subconsciously I also craved giving into the urges because I had gotten myself addicted to the feeling I would get when I did it.

I shamefully got out of bed and went to my bathroom. As I was picking up afterwards my phone rang. I looked to see who it was and it came up as " Sheila-neighbor". I picked up because I was worried something must really be wrong for her to call me at near midnight.

"Hello, is everything okay?" I asked worried, and I threw on a hoodie in case I needed to go outside.

" Oh yeah Kee I'm fine, nothing is wrong here. I just, are you okay? I saw this post that was deleted soon after I saw it and I don't know why, but it just made me think of you and I've been debating calling but here I am, so, are you alright?" She asked.

" Yes I'm fine thanks for checking in. Night now." I said.

" Oh, okay, goodnight." She said and I hung up as fast as I could.

I was angry at myself for being careless. If she knew it was me I must've let something slip, or went outside one day in a tank top by accident. I wasn't sure how she knew, but I knew I must've done something for her to find out. 

I went into my kitchen pissed off and went to grab a water bottle to cool myself down but when I did, I somehow knocked a pan and a plate off the counter where the dishes were drying. They came crashing down and the plate broke into pieces when it landed.

I fell to my knees and just sobbed in my hands. As I finally began to pick up the plate pieces, I heard a knock on my door. I got up and looked through the peep hole to see it was Sheila looking anxious.

I opened it and she stared at me and then the broken dish behind me on the floor.

" Sorry about the noise, a plate and pan fell." I said.

" Want help cleaning it up?" She asked.

" Oh, no it's alright, thank you though. I appreciate it." I said and tried to usher her back outdoors, when my hoodie sleeve rode up and the marks on my arm were visible to her.

" What's that? Did the plate break on you?" She asked and pointed to my arm.

"I'm fine." I said and rolled my sleeve back down.

" Oh sweetie you know I'm a nurse right? Let me have a look at that." Sheila said, and as she was a solid 8 or 9 years older than I was, I felt obligated to respect what she said.

" Okay, come in." I said reluctantly but still trying to put on a facade that nothing was wrong.

" Alright so sit down on that chair for me and I'll take a look. You got a better light in here anywhere?" She asked when she noticed only my dim kitchen light was on.

" Yeah, behind the door." I said. "But it's really not that bad, you don't need it."

As I sat, she went to the light and turned it on anyway. " Alright, can you roll your sleeve up for me Kee?" She asked as she knelt down to be more on my level.

I froze. I couldn't do it. It felt like an eternity as I waited for her to say something. When she noticed I seemed to be incredibly anxious, she put her hand on mine to try and soothe me.
" I won't hurt you dear. I just wanna have a look." She said.

I still couldn't budge so she spoke again. " Can I move your sleeve up hun?" She asked.

"Okay." I said not knowing what else to say.

She carefully moved my sleeve up my arm and came face to face with a plethora of still semi-bloody lines.

" So, not from the plate then, I see, that's okay. Do you have first aid stuff in your bathroom hun?"

I nodded and got up to go get it. When I brought it back to her she had me sit again and gently cleaned my cuts before putting on antibiotic ointment on me and bandaging my arm.

" All good now. Make sure you clean and rebandage every day until they heal though, alright?" She asked to make sure I understood.

" Alright." I said. " Thanks."

" No problem dear. Let me clean up the rest of that plate for you and then you should really get some sleep." She replied.

"Oh that's not necessary, I can do that." I said.

" No, I insist." She claimed, and got my broom out of the corner to finish what I had started.

I thanked her and she left. but right as I was about to crawl back into bed to fall asleep my phone dinged.

"Hey it's Sheila. Text me or call me if you need "plate" help again, no judgment."The message read. I liked it and fell asleep.