Depression/ anxiety one shots

Feeling fake tw ⚠️sh, dissociation

I got home early. I'm usually the kind of person to grab a snack and turn on the tv right away but not this day, I wasn't even home, not in my head. It's like I was in a vaguely familiar place but it wasn't my home, it wasn't normal , I wasn't normal, I thought as my head rushed in circles and nothing felt real.

It's a real shitty feeling you know, to feel like nothing is real, like your life isn't yours , like you're in a movie. I hate it and so I decided to try to snap myself out of it.

I went up the stairs and into the hall bathroom. I grabbed a blade out from where I'd previously hidden some and I panicked as I began tearing off my jeans and my long sleeve shirt. I sat down to try and center myself and just went for it , and went for it , and went for it some more until all I was feeling was the subtle sting of the air coming in contact with my wounds and the high that filled my brain.

I sat for a minute and felt myself coming down a bit so I went to do it again when I heard a voice and looked up.

" Daisy." My brother said standing in the doorway looking down at me on the floor like I was a house that had just been struck by lightning and he was my neighbor.

I froze and he bent down slowly and took the blade from my grip.

" Okay , I need to see how bad these are . Let me get a towel." He said and grabbed one off the shelf wetting it slightly before wiping my thighs and forearms with it.

" Okay, I think you'll be alright. We just need to get you cleaned up and bandaged." He said and got some antiseptic spray before practically dousing me in it.

He then got some Neosporin, gauze , and tape. I wanted to speak but I just couldn't. I was just frozen as he fixed me up.

" Okay all done. Is it okay? Too tight or anything?" He asked worried.

I didn't answer.

" Daisy please answer me, you're freaking me the fuck out right now. Do I need to take you to the hospital? You didn't take anything did you?" He asked frantically.

I shook my head no.

" Okay good. I'm just kind of in shock right now. Can , I, uh, take you downstairs and we can sit on the couch and like , uh try to process this?" He asked and I nodded.

He carefully picked me up and slowly carried me downstairs. He sat me down and then sat next to me letting my head fall onto his shoulder before grabbing the blanket next to him and covering me with it as I was still just in my bra and underwear.

" I'm not gonna make you talk , just whenever you're ready. Until then I'll just sit here and be with you." He said and squeezed my hand comfortingly.

We probably sat there for about an hour before I was finally able to get something out.

" I'm sorry." I said and he whipped his head over to look at me.

He readjusted on the couch so he was facing me and I sat up straight to face him. He took my hands and spoke.

" Daisy , you don't have to be sorry, I'm not upset with you." He said and that's when my body completely unfroze and I broke down sobbing.

He quickly pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back to try and soothe me.

I just kept crying and crying and crying and when I finally stopped I pulled out of the hug and saw his shirt was very wet from my tears.

" Oh no, your shirt. I'll go get you a dry one." I said feeling bad about it and tried to get up but he pulled me back.

" It's alright , just talk to me, if you can. What happened Daisy?" He asked .

" I, I just , sometimes my head gets all messed up and I start to feel like I'm not in reality and it's scary and I don't wanna be there , so I tried to snap myself out of it." I said embarrassed.

" Oh." He said . " Do you think maybe talking to someone could help, or I don't know , I don't want to say the wrong thing, how can I help you?"

" I don't know River, I just don't know. Maybe can I just lay back on you? I just want to sleep. You can tell mom when she gets home later , I know you have to , I just want to sleep now though, is that okay?" I asked.

" Yeah , you can do that. We can figure it all out with mom later, just sleep now." He said and I layed back on his shoulder letting my mind wander before letting my exhausted mind drift off to sleep.