Depression/ anxiety one shots

Cheating self part 2 tw sh ⚠️

Juni let me help her for a few days but as her bruises started healing she insisted she didn't need assistance anymore.

Every morning I would wake up to her making me breakfast. She'd make my plate and then I would get ready and go to work. She'd send me off with a packed lunch she made and then I'd come home to dinner made or she'd take me out to eat. All this while somehow working a part time job.

And I tried to have conversations with her about how I didn't need her to try and be this "perfect"girlfriend, but she'd always say she just wanted to make sure I was fed, or something of the sort.

She hadn't relapsed, I'd been checking, but I was still incredibly worried.

I'd thought about insisting she see a therapist but was concerned that would make her just shove her emotions down even more, so I held off.

I almost never go on my phone during work hours but I was let out early because of a major plumbing problem in the building, so as I got to my car I pulled out my phone.

I checked Juni's location and was shocked to see she was home and had been all day, despite being scheduled for a double shift at the restaurant she works at.

I called her and it went to voicemail. Called again, voicemail again. I got in the car and sped off home.

Once home I clamored through the door and called out for Juni. When I heard no response I went upstairs to look for her.

As I swung open the door I initially felt betrayed. There was Juni, her hands handcuffed to the bed frame. I looked around but saw nor heard anyone else, and she was clothed fully.

" Juni what the fuck is this?" I asked, shocked.

" I'm sorry." She cried.

" Where the fuck is she?" I yelled as I slammed open the closet door to reveal nothing but clothes.

" I did this to myself baby, no one is here." She admitted.

" Why?" I said, more confused than anything.

" I can't hit myself like this." She explained and my face fell.

" I'm sorry you have to deal with my dramatics. I bought these handcuffs with a timer and they normally open a half hour before you get home, I didn't know you were coming home early. I didn't think you'd have to see me this pathetic. I apologize." She said when I was silent after her first comment.

" Sweetheart are your urges so strong that you do this often?" I asked.

" Yes, I do it often. I won't feel sorry for myself and relapse, that's disgusting behavior." She said and I saw that it pained her to tell me the truth.

" How often?" I inquired.

" Every day that I don't work, but I called out sick today because I knew I would've hurt myself if I wasn't locked up. Some nights." She answered.

" How some nights?" I asked, confused how I wouldn't have seen.

" Some nights I can't fall asleep fast enough after you do and the thoughts come back strong so I just sit up and do this." She said. " I'll stop this too though if you'd like. I can find another way. Also in the spirit of always being honest, I am not enjoying subjecting you to this. I feel I am hurting you."

" I can't keep looking at you like this, is there a key?" I asked.

" Yes, under the dresser, left corner." She replied as she sighed.

I unlocked her and she immediately balled her hands into fists without even realizing she was doing it, because when I grabbed her hands she was surprised they were balled up and released them.

" Baby how haven't I noticed how red these make your wrists? How tight do you make them?" I asked.

" I usually foundation them after I get released, and, as tight as they'll go, it's bad pain. I'm trying to condition myself so that when I think about hitting myself I feel that bad pain."

I just pulled her into my chest and started sobbing as she layed on me silently.

" I don't know how to make you better again. I don't know what to do." I cried as I fought to stop my tears.

" I'm okay baby." She said stoically.

" No you are not. An okay person doesn't handcuff themself to the bed frame because they'll hurt themself if they don't. That's a very not okay person Juni. You need help I can't give. Please see someone. Please." I begged.

" Okay, I'll see someone. I'll call tomorrow and make myself an appointment somewhere." She said.

" That easy? You promise?" I asked.

" Yes, I promise. I will do whatever you ask of me, and I mean absolutely whatever you ask." Juni said.

" Yeah that's not normal either but it's okay that's what therapy is for. You'll get help baby." I told her.

"Meanwhile I'm gonna take advantage of this whole you doing whatever I ask thing. Please go downstairs and lay on the couch while I cook you some dinner. Put something you like on, whether it be a show or some music, just put something you enjoy on please. And please drink the water I'll bring to you. How's that sound?" I asked.

" Truthfully it sounds like hell. The thought of you catering to me burns me throughout and I feel horribly guilty I made you stay with me all this time when I am not worth your time or energy. But if that is what you want from me I will do that. I know it's a lot to ask but could you also maybe stop asking my opinion on things or how I feel? Cause I hate telling you the truth." She spoke.

" Jesus Juni, I've forgiven you. I love you, and you're hurting so I just want to support you. How can I make this pain of yours go away?" I asked.

" You can't. Just please don't make me sit there while you cook for me, please don't make me. Just let me make you dinner or we can go out, anything you want." She pleaded.

" I don't want to eat anymore and it seems you don't either so what I want is to lay here with you and hold you. Can I please hold you?" I asked her.

" Okay." She responded.

I held her as I played soft music from my phone and played with her hair.

" You fall asleep first tonight, I insist. You'll be safe." I said, and she did.