Depression/ anxiety one shots

Bonded tw sh⚠️

Tw: blatant talk about sh, sh in general, and also this is for M for mature.

"Wait, please stop for one sec." I said to my drunken hookup Autumn when she went to unbuckle my pants. We had went back to her place from the bar.

She instantly pulled herself off of me and said. " Of course, I'm sorry. Was I doing something you don't want?"

"No that's not it." I said. " It's just that I feel the need to warn you."

"Warn me? What about?" She asked, puzzled.

" If it's not something you can deal with I understand, but I, I uh, I self harm, and it's not all healed at the moment." I said, feeling embarrassed.

" Oh, okay. It's fine by me, but I want you to be fully comfortable. Are you?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said enthusiastically, loving the lack of judgment in her words.

She continued where we left off and blah blah blah, you know what happened alright. Anyway, when we were done she asked if I wanted to stay over and I said that I did want to, so she pulled out her laptop and put on a show to help us sleep.

To both of our surprise the episode had a self harm scene in it and Autumn quickly reached up and paused the show.

" I can put something else on. What would you like to watch?" She asked, trying to conceal her concern.

" No it's fine really." I said. It had shocked me to see but it didn't trigger me all that bad.

" I don't know if that's a great idea." She said. " And I know it's not my place but shouldn't you be keeping them bandaged, I'm worried you'll get an infection."

I was actually kinda annoyed with what she said. Like it was none of her business.

" I don't care." Is what I decided on saying and I felt her eyes change to a pitying glare.

" I'm sorry. I guess with my past experience I'm a little blunt. " She said.

" Past experience?" I asked.

" Yeah, I cut myself all throughout highschool, and part of college too." She said casually like it was a common thing people admitted to.

" I'm so sorry." I said. " I didn't see anything when we, a little bit ago.

"Both of my arms mainly. I covered them all in my tattoos because I needed to be free from the constant reminding me of my past that they did." Autumn said and grabbed my hand putting it on her forearm. " You can feel them, I'm telling the truth."

I believed her, but I brushed my fingers up and down her arm. She was opening up to me and dealing with the same thing, I knew that this wasn't easy for her and she needed to vent to someone. I decided I'd listen.

" I feel your strength Autumn. It's amazing, you should be so proud of yourself." I said and she pulled me in for a soft kiss before speaking again.

" Thank you." She said. "So, now that you know, you know why I'm so worried about you. Can I please take care of the ones from yesterday, I got big band aids and shit."

" Fine." I said reluctantly.

She got out of bed and got her supplies. She covered my cuts in neosporin and then bandaged them. She then put a different show on and turned out all the lights.

I fell asleep shortly after, but I didn't stay asleep. About an hour and a half later I was woken by a nightmare. I was being jumped by my friends, and even some people in my family and I woke up thinking it was real at first as I jolted upwards.

I felt an urge so I got up and found my way to Autumn's bathroom. I turned on the light and looked around for something I could use. As I dug through the drawers I came across an actual box of sharp objects. I was shocked because why would she still have a box like this, but my addiction was being fed, so I didn't care all that much. Trying to be stealthy I peeled back a bandage and did it under where the bandage would cover once I stuck it back down. Once I was done I went back to the bed and tried to fall back asleep. After 10 minutes of  me moving in discomfort I heard Autumn speak.

"So you leave for 15 minutes and then come back to say nothing, like we both don't know what just happened." She said sadly.

I didn't say anything, I just turned away from her and cried.

" Hey, hey, it's okay hun." Can I hold you?

"Please." I said through my tears.

So she did. And before we parted ways in the morning she gave me her number and said to text her if I needed someone, for anything.