Depression/ anxiety one shots

Getting harder to manage

It feels like I can never fall asleep but once I'm asleep I just want to stay asleep for hours and hours because it's easy. Going through the day feeling nothing is not easy, it's miserable, so that's why I had ignored their calls.

My phone rang again. It was to the point where I knew they were concerned because a call was coming  after the previous one had ended by me not picking up.

I didn't want them to worry but I also just wanted to go back to sleep, so I texted a quick message.

"I'm okay." I typed out and sent it before turning off my phone to avoid any further calls. I was just so tired.

I woke up and turned my phone back on to see the time. It was 7:30, later than I had thought it was. I instantly saw the plethora of missed calls and texts from Cass.

4:35- "I know you aren't okay. Please pick up the phone."

4:58- "I'm worried okay. You haven't said anything to me in like four days."

5:44-" Baby please answer me."

7:02- "Okay I'm coming over. I'm scared."

I realized they sent that text thirty minutes prior which meant they would be at my place in around five minutes.

I didn't know what to do so I just pretended to be asleep. When they came in I heard their keys hit my countertop before my bedroom door was being opened slowly.

Once they saw I was "asleep", they came to the other side of the bed and sat on it before whispering to me as to not wake me up.

" Hey love. I'm sure you're tired so I'll wait until you wake up. I'm just glad you're okay." They said as they watched intensely on my chest rising and falling and held my hand.

I waited for what felt like another ten minutes or so before "waking up".

" Cass?" I said groggily as I sat up and pretended to just notice their hand in mine.

"Hey sweetie, how long have you been sleeping for?" They asked.

" Some hours, I'm not sure." I said.

" Okay, well I'm sorry to barge into your place like this but I was really concerned about you. Could you tell me why you weren't answering any calls?" They replied.

" I just couldn't. I just wanted to sleep so I didn't have to feel the nothingness." I said. " I'm sorry for worrying you."

"It's okay baby. I'm not mad." They said. " I do think we need to talk about this though. Your depression seems to be getting harder to manage huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah I guess. I don't know if it's harder or if I'm just weaker."

" You are not weak my love. I assure you of that." They said and squeezed my hand in support. " You are strong and I want to help you feel that way too."

"How?" I asked skeptically.

" I want to help you find a therapist and a psychiatrist, along with whatever else you feel you may need. This is a situation in which it's best to leave it to professionals because as much as I wish I could make it all better, I'm not naive enough to think I can." They answered.

" I don't know. That seems hard." I said. " I don't think I have the energy for it."

" I know, and that's why I'll do everything I can do. I'll find the people who take your insurance, I'll make the appointments for you, I'll take you to them, and help you with any paperwork you may need to fill out. I am here for all of it. I need you to know that this doesn't and won't scare me off. I'm here for you fully, always." They rambled.

" I love you, and for you, I'll try." I said.

They snuggled in closer to me under the covers. " I love you too, and that's all I could ever ask." They said.

" Can I go back to sleep now? You can stay but I'm so tired." I said.

" Let me make you something to eat and once you're done you can go back to sleep, how's that sound?" They asked trying to compromise.

" Okay." I said and so Cass got up to go dig through my pantry to find something to cook while I layed there on the verge of tears from the sheer amount of support I was being given.