Depression/ anxiety one shots

Anything for you, anything ( tw talk of sh⚠️)

When my girlfriend got home I was doing the dishes.

" Hey, how was work?" I asked unenthusiastically.

"It was okay, how was your day though? Do anything interesting in class?" She asked.

" No." I lied because truthfully I didn't even go.

" Dinner is in the fridge, you just have to reheat it." I said.

" How good is it from one to ten? My mom wants to know since she sent you the recipe." Deliah asked as she opened the fridge and took out the container of the sweet potato chili casserole I had made earlier in the night.

" I don't know, seven, I'm not a big sweet potato fan." I said, once again lying. I cooked for her because I knew she needed to eat and I nibbled on the ingredients sure, but I didn't actually eat any of it once it cooked. I let it cool and put it straight into the refrigerator.

" So it's probably more like a nine." She laughed and put some on a plate before microwaving it.

" I guess." I said trying to laugh along with her but it sounded forced so I stopped.

She sat down to eat and I continued on the dishes.

" So, really nothing interesting about your day?" Deliah asked trying to make conversation.

" Nope." I said and didn't even look up.

" Piper, did I do something?" Deliah asked suddenly.

" No." I replied.

" Then why are you treating me like I did?" She asked and I could hear the hurt in her voice.

I set the dish I was washing down and turned around to face her before speaking. " I'm sorry Deliah. I promise you, you did nothing, I'm not mad at you."

" Okay, but why are you acting so strange? You sound so dull love, please talk to me, what's going on?" Deliah begged.

" I'm fine." I said. "Really, I'm fine."

" I don't believe that for a second sweetie. I'm done eating, you did most of the dishes and I'll finish in the morning, can you just come to the bed with me and we can talk about this?" She asked and got up to put her dish in the sink.

I didn't answer so she grabbed my hand and gently dragged me to our room. She sat down so I sat down too. We were sitting facing each other cross legged and she grabbed my hands to hold them.

" Piper, just tell me what's going through your head?" She asked softly.

" Honestly, not a thing." I said flat out.

" There's gotta be something, what do you mean there's nothing?" She asked confused.

" I mean I feel no inside emotion. I feel outside emotion like for people and things like that. For example, I love you and that doesn't change depending on my insides, I always love you. It's like I just don't feel anything for me. I try and I try but I just can't anymore, and I hate it Deliah. I feel like a zombie. I don't feel like I'm human the way I'm supposed to be." I explained slowly and monotonous.

" How long have you felt this way baby? I had no idea, I'm so sorry." She asked and I noticed her eyes welling up with tears.

" Long enough, maybe a year, I don't remember." I answered.

Her tears began to fall and she squeezed my hands tighter.

" Don't cry love, it's okay." I said and pulled a hand out of her grasp and wiped away her tears.

" Is there anything I can do?" She asked sadly.

" No, there's nothing anyone can do, but I appreciate the thought." I replied and kissed her on her forehead. " I really do love you and I'm sorry I can't be the partner you deserve. I'm trying."