Depression/ anxiety one shots

Surprised tw sh ⚠️

I was FaceTiming my girlfriend the night before. I was putting on the front that I was fine. She and I went to different colleges and visited each other on weekends. We talked for an hour or two and then she said she was going to bed early because she had to get up early.

I told her good night and said that I loved her before hanging up and staying up for another few hours just being in my head. I had relapsed into self harm the same morning and I knew Daffodil would be disappointed if I told her, so I didn't.

I went to sleep eventually and then I was woken up by my phone non stop ringing at around 10 am.

" Hello." I said trying to sound less sleepy after I realized it was her calling me.

" Good morning love. Go open the front door." She said.

" Okay?" I said confused.

I dawdled to the front door and opened it and there she was, smiling with flowers and pulling me in for a hug.

" Omg what are you doing here!" I exclaimed surprised.

" I wanted to see you so here I am." She said and laughed like it was so obvious.

I ushered her inside from the rain and took her bags for her. I forgot that I just had a long hoodie on and no pants and so when I bent down to set down her stuff it rode up and she stared at me stunned for a second.

" So you relapsed. When baby?" She asked softly but I could tell she was hurt that I hadn't told her.

" Yesterday morning. I'm really sorry, I know I disappointed you." I said beginning to tear up.

" It's alright love. I'm not disappointed in you. I know it's a hard thing to fight off, I'm proud that you aren't giving up." She said.

" You swear you aren't mad at me?" I asked anxiously.

" I swear love. I'm not mad or upset or disappointed with you at all" She said and I felt a bit better. " You know I have to ask, did you clean it after?"

" No." I said feeling guilty.

" Okay, that's okay, just means we gotta do it now." She said and went into my bathroom ushering me to follow her.

I sat down on the toilet seat lid and she slid my hoodie up to see my thighs.

" Oh love. You must've been hurting bad, do you wanna talk about it?" She said as she took a soapy wet washcloth and began to clean my thighs.

" There's not really anything to talk about. I'm just not okay, but I want to be. I'm trying to be." I said trying to reassure her that I didn't plan on doing it again.

" That means everything to me." She said. " Thank you."

" Of course." I said and she nodded up at me as she was kneeling on the floor putting Neosporin on my cuts. 

She put bandages on my thighs and then took me to the bed where she instantly crawled in with me and asked, " You want to be held?".

She always makes sure it's okay with me before touching me at all because she knows I have anxiety over it sometimes.

" Please." I said, definitely wanting to feel comfort.

She pulled me in so that we were cuddling and she was talking to me while playing with my hair, which she knows I love.

" I understand why you didn't tell me earlier, I know you were worried I would be upset, but I promise baby, I'll never be upset at you for this. It's not your fault, it's a coping mechanism that just happens to be a harmful one. My point is that you can come to me right away if there's a next time, I won't judge you and I'll just hold you like I'm doing now, okay." She said.

" Okay, thank you." I said.

" Of course love. I love you so much." She whispered and kissed my forehead.

She originally wanted to go on a dinner date that night and I said we could but she insisted on just being with me and holding me the whole night.

She had to leave the next night and go back to her school, but she would FaceTime me every night to talk to me and sneakily check up on me until we hung out in person again.