Depression/ anxiety one shots

School stressors (tw talk of sh ⚠️)

*Didn't really know where to take this so kind of a short one but hope it satisfies the request!*

The summer had ended and I was back in another year of school. Going back was always such a nightmare, but getting back into the routine of things and it feeling normal was even worse.

Not even the third week back and I already had two tests to study for, a project, and endless homework. I was back to getting no sleep whatsoever which only made everything harder.

One day I went in to class and found out the quiz I'd taken a few days prior, I had failed. I tried to be calm about it but I just felt so stupid and worthless, and all I wanted to do was go home and crawl under my blankets and cry.

Unfortunately I couldn't do that though because I had more classes to go to, so I held back my tears and went to my next class.

As I sat down I realized everyone was handing something in.

" What is everyone turning in?" I asked the girl who sat by me.

" The homework?" She said confused why I was confused.

" Wait I thought that was due tomorrow." I said panicked.

" No, today." She replied and my heart sank.

I started to dissociate and just sat through the lecture without actually taking in any information. I started to think that there was something wrong with me because how could I be such an idiot.

When my class ended I went to my last one and luckily in this one all I got was more homework assignments.

When I left to drive home my car didn't start. Thankfully someone gave me a jump start but once I made it home I was sobbing.

I was so overwhelmed with everything but I knew I needed to start on my homework so I sat down at the table to work. I only got through half of an assignment when I started to get some bothersome thoughts.

" You are a worthless idiot, why even try? You know what will make you feel better, hurting yourself. Remember how that always used to help. Just do it, you know you want to." I thought and began to get upset.

I was a year clean of self harm and I needed the thoughts to stop. I had work to do and couldn't focus with them pounding in my head so I smacked my head to try and get rid of them.

"I can't do this. I can't do this." I repeated out loud to myself.

Seconds later my phone rang and I picked it up when I saw it was my girlfriend.

" Hey, how was class today?" Maddie asked.

" Fine." I said but she could tell I was lying.

" Avery what's wrong?" She asked. " You didn't relapse did you? Do you want me to come over?"

" No, I didn't, but I'm wanting to." I said ashamed.

" Okay, that's okay. I'll come over alright? Give me fifteen minutes and I'll be there." She said calm but urgently.

" Okay." I said and ended the call.

I just layed my head in my hands and cried until she got there. When I heard her car pull up I got up and opened the door for her.

She came running up to me and wrapped her arms around me. I instantly collapsed into her arms and so she just worked harder to hold me up.

" I got you baby, I got you." She said as she slowly lowered us to the floor and closed the front door.

I was bawling and she gently lifted my chin up and moved the hair out of my face.

" It's all gonna be okay love, talk to me, what's hurting you?" Maddie asked softly.

" It's just too much." I cried. " I failed my quiz, I forgot to do the homework, and I have so much homework to do. It's too overwhelming."

" I understand that. It sounds like it's really stressful for you sweetheart, so the thoughts of hurting yourself are understandable. We're not going to listen to those though okay? There's a better way." She explained.

" I just want them to go away. They won't go away." I said still sobbing.

" I know. I know love." She said pulling me in again and letting me cry, soaking her shirt with my tears.

Once I calmed down she pulled away and helped me up.

" Go sit down on the couch for me okay? I'm gonna make you a little snack so your brain has power to do things, and then you and me are gonna conquer everything on your list one thing at a time." She directed.

" Thank you." I said gratefully and sat on the couch as she'd told me to.