Depression/ anxiety one shots

Mother and Daughter tw sh ⚠️

Major switch of pov's than usual ( I'm also not a mom so I tried my best here)

My daughter was originally going to visit me for the weekend but then told me that she couldn't anymore. Something about her apartment's plumbing. Anyway, I was disappointed but also a little relieved. I didn't want her to see how badly I was doing. I had her when I was 16, and I've been depressed since before she was even born, but I've never let her find out. To her I am her hardworking, happy mom, and I didn't want her to deal with knowing that wasn't the case.

She also wasn't aware that I self harmed. I didn't want a soul to know. It's so embarrassing at my age, like who at 36 does that? I don't know of anyone else. I relapsed recently due to relationship problems I was having. I never married, and I didn't get into a relationship until after Meg went to college. Anyway, this person just loved gaslighting me and shit like that and I just couldn't handle it anymore, so I dumped them, and then I relapsed.

That Saturday morning I heard a knock on my door. I opened it expecting a package I had ordered but instead my daughter jumped into my arms the same way she did when she was in elementary school.

" Surprise!" She squealed.

" I, I thought you had that whole plumbing issue?" I said confused but with excitement.

" I lied." She laughed happy that she'd succeeded in surprising me.

I helped her with her things and then offered to cook her something. She accepted and sat at the island on a stool watching me and making conversation.

" So school has been good, how have you been Mom?" She asked.

" I've been good, I did break up with Saroise though." I said nonchalantly.

" What? How come?" She asked shocked.

" They were just manipulative and I was done." I said .

" Are you okay?" She asked.

" Yeah of course." I answered and handed her her plate.

" Okay, thanks." She said and started to eat.

I reached to take her plate once she finished so I could load the dishwasher when my sleeve slid up a little and she saw that my wrist was bandaged.

" Woah, what happened to your wrist?" She asked concerned.

I yanked down my sleeve. " Oh just scratched myself gardening the other day." I said.

" You don't have a garden." She said suspiciously.

" I'm aware." I said laughing. " I was doing some volunteer work. Trina from across the street asked if I would with her church group."

"Oh." She said. " Well that was nice of you."

" Thanks." I said. " Well how about we go out for dinner tonight and then come back and catch up on our show."

I desperately wanted to change the topic.

" Yeah that sounds nice but I have to tell you something first mom." She said nervously.

" What's wrong hunny?" I asked worried.

" Saroise texted me a few days ago. They told me to watch out for any signs that you might need some help, like with mental illness issues? What did they mean?" She asked.

" They are reaching for straws trying to cause more damage to my life then they already caused. Ignore them." I said deflecting.

" Mom. Why are you lying to me? " Meg asked sadly. I'm an adult. You can tell me anything.

" I'm not lying to you." I said.

" Okay then I'm going across the street to check with Trina that your story is true." She said and I stopped her before she reached the door.

" Okay. Just stop." I said and went to sit on the couch. She sat across from me in a chair.

" Talk to me, the truth please." She said.

" Okay fine, but I didn't want it to go this way." I said trying not to cry.

" Hey I didn't mean to upset you." She said and came and sat down next to me.

" No, you've done nothing wrong." I said. " The truth is Meg, that I do suffer from mental illnesses and I have a self harm problem. I'm okay though, you don't need to worry about me. I'll talk to someone."

Her jaw dropped and time was frozen for a second before her arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a hug. She started to cry so I started to cry.

" Show me." She said after our tears subsided.

" No, that's where I draw the line. I will not subject you to that." I said.

" Mom, I'm a nursing student. If you don't show me I'll go crazy thinking you're gonna get an infection."she pleaded with me.

" I know I'll be just fine. It's not like this is the first time." I said and looked at me with the saddest eyes.

" Please mom." She said and it looked like she was about to cry again.

" Okay, okay fine." I said not wanting to upset her further.

I rolled my sleeve up and slowly pealed off the bandage I had put on the day before. I felt instantly guilty when I saw her face.

She grabbed my arm and brought it closer to her face. She saw all the other scars too which she'd never seen before. I always was in long sleeves and she just thought I dressed super modestly so she never questioned it.

" Oh mom, you could've told me sooner." She said as she gave me my arm back. " They look uninfected though so that's good at least."

" I never wanted you to have to know. You're my kid, it's my job to worry about you and care about you, you shouldn't have to do that for me. I'm really sorry Meg." I said my eyes watering again.

" It's okay Momma. It's okay. Let me go get you a new bandage and then we can talk more about this if you want to. If you don't want to we can just watch our show, okay?" She said.

" Okay." I said and I stood up when she did so I could give her a proper hug.

" You're an amazing daughter. I love you to the ends of the earth." I told her.

" Back at you mom." She said and I felt the wall I had put up finally fall down.