Depression/ anxiety one shots

Deserved tw sh, suicide attempt⚠️

I was horrible to her. I was a bully who would break her confidence every chance I got, until I wasn't. Our club was staying the night in a different city in a hotel. We somehow ended up paired in a room together and she was so anxious to be around me that she spent the whole day out and when she came back I was in the shower. I heard her phone call.

" No mom, you don't need to call them to switch me. I'll live. Hopefully she just goes to sleep early." Rose said.

I held back a laugh because I go to sleep so late.

There was a break of silence and then she spoke again. " Yes, I promise you I won't hurt myself okay. I promise. I wouldn't do that here."

My face sunk and I instantly began emotionally deteriorating. It was like I was back in middle school and cutting myself like I did every time I was harassed at school and at home. I had given her my trauma and I couldn't fathom how I didn't realize it sooner. I felt like throwing up so I did.

I desperately wanted to cry but I didn't. I got out of the shower and put my clothes on.

I came into the room and silently put on my shoes and Rose watched me confused why I was so silent.

I grabbed my purse and said, " I'm heading out, and I'm sorry.", before slamming the door and running
up the stairs until I reached the rooftop.

Rose pov:/
I was anxiously awaiting Leana leaving the bathroom but when she did and didn't say a word I was even more frightened.

She put her shoes on and grabbed her bag before saying she was leaving, and shockingly that she was sorry. I was so confused, but grateful, oh so grateful. I layed back and started flipping through the tv channels but I just didn't feel right about what Leana said so I decided to go looking for her.
End Rose pov\

I collapsed slowly onto the ground once I got to the top. I dumped out my bag until I found some over the counter pills I had. I took them all and then took a sharp piece of glass that was lying next to me and began to cut myself. The memories of the stuff I said to Rose came back and back and back, and each memory was another addition to the red marks across my arm. I continued. I continued until I physically couldn't anymore and dropped the glass before laying in a fetal position to try and provide my body with some warmth as I felt exhausted.

I felt like sleeping but I was suddenly jolted up. It was Rose. She had picked me up and thrown me over her shoulder, she was strong, and carried me down the stairs back to our room where she set me down in the bathroom.

I was shocked by her tone and what she said as she shoved my head over the toilet and stuck her fingers down my throat. " I'm doing this until you throw up, so do it bitch."

My body reacted and I through up, and then I did it again, and again, and again, until she was satisfied.

" I saw your uncapped pill bottle. Little obvious." She said annoyed. " And also what the actual fuck Leana. What the actual fuck!"

" I'm sorry." I said hoarsely.

" Yeah I know, you already said that. Why did you cut up nearly every part on your body and try to overdose Leana. And no petty excuses, the truth." She said with a strictness I'd never seen from her.

She was looking down on me with disgust and it was well deserved. I didn't intend for her to find me, I never wanted to do that to her, not after what I'd already done.

" Because I'm a messed up person, and I see just how much now. I'm sorry for how I treated you and I know there's nothing I can do to change what already happened but I promise you, you'll never have to deal with me again." I said.

" Good." She said the anger leaving her eyes for a second and I saw her hurt. " Clean yourself up." She said roughly again, and left the bathroom with a slam of the door.

I just wanted to leave but I was certain she'd call the authorities if I didn't do as she asked so I did. I had stopped bleeding so I wiped all the blood off me with my wipes that were on the counter before I cleaned the spots off the floor.

I came out of the room and got into my bed where I looked over at Rose and opened my mouth to speak before she cut me off.

" Go to bed. I don't want to hear it Leana." She said and turned over, turned out the light, and went to sleep.

I layed there for about an hour before I got up. I silently crept to the door and left. I walked down the stairs and out of the hotel. As I wandered the streets I came across an older homeless lady who stopped me with wide eyes.

"Hunny what happened to you? You're covered in cuts!" She said. "Let me help you find the hospital."

"No, no it's okay because I deserve worse! I'm a bully, I'm scum. Don't you worry about me ma'am!" I said loudly as I ran away from her.

I kept walking until morning came and I knew people would unfortunately come looking for me so I booked a ratty motel with cash I had and bought supplies from the dollar store.

I dyed my hair pitch black as well as my eyebrows. I didn't want to be recognized. I dressed in sweats and a hoodie and with my look finished I got on a train hours away the next morning. I told her I'd never bother her again, and I didn't. I heard people looked for me for a while but eventually they gave up, but there is nothing I deserve more than nothing and no one.

All fictional, please call 911 if you suspect someone is overdosing and/or call 988 if you feel suicidal, thank you