Depression/ anxiety one shots

Fatherly things ( tw ⚠️SH, anxiety attack)

" We can do this. Just like we were told. In and out, in and out. I'm okay. In and out. In and out. Fuck, why isn't this working. In and out, in and out." I spoke out loud to myself as I was having an anxiety attack trying to calm myself.

When I realized it was only getting worse as my legs and lips started to go numb and I was struggling to breathe properly, I took out my coping mechanism.

I thought I heard a knock on my door but ignored it and pushed my shirt sleeve up before dragging the blade over my skin. I felt a little anxiety relief, but not enough though, so I did it again, and again, and a few more times for good measure. I was stopped when the blade was ripped from my hand and I looked up to see my dad.

My body went into shock for what felt like a couple minutes until I broke and the dam holding back my tears exploded as I began to sob. 

My dad pulled some paper towels off the roll and hastily put pressure on my wounds. I saw the concern in his eyes and it hurt. I suddenly felt extremely guilty and started sobbing even harder.

He noticed and while still trying to stop my bleeding, took my other hand and pulled me into a makeshift side hug.

" It's alright hun. I'm gonna make sure you're okay. Talk to me kid, please. What happened?" He asked.

" I'm sorry. It's just that I can't handle anything anymore. It's just too hard. I need to feel so I can stop feeling so god damn hard." I said. " Please don't be mad."

" Oh, I'm not mad. I can't pretend to know what you mean, but I don't have to understand, I just have to help and support you. I love you so much. Please don't do this anymore." My dad said and a tear fell down his cheek.

" I'll try." I said still crying heavily.

My dad nodded and lifted the paper towels up to check. The cuts had stopped bleeding and I felt so shameful when I saw him staring.

" Alrighty kid. After I clean you up and put a bandage on these, you'll be good as new." He said. " Let me go see what cleaning products I even have. Don't move."

" Okay." I said and he walked out to see what he could find.

" Ah I'm sorry kid, all I have is hydrogen peroxide. This will probably hurt." He said.

" It's okay." I said.

" You can squeeze my other hand, here." He said giving me his non dominant hand to hold. " Ready, three, two, one." He said as he poured the hydrogen peroxide over my arm.

I winced and squeezed his hand.

" All done. All done." My dad said and then took out the Neosporin.

He cautiously applied the Neosporin to my cuts and then put large bandages across my arm.

" Done." He said and then took my hands, helping me to get up from the floor.

He pulled me into a bear hug and softly pat my back.

My head still against his shoulder, he spoke. " You know you really scared me there kid. And don't take it like you did something wrong where I'd be mad, I just mean that know that the reason why I was so scared was because of how much I love you."

" Thank you, and I'm sorry. I love you too." I said.

" How about I make you some of my world famous waffles, and then we can watch Alaskan Bush People. " My dad said.

" Yes please." I said and he gave me an encouraging shoulder pat.

I sat at the table and watched him make me waffles, the kind with sprinkles he'd make all the time from when I was little.

" I think you should get a psychiatrists appointment." He said breaking the silence.

" You're right. I will." I said.

" Thank you." He said and brought me my plate and brought over his own as well and we sat on the couch.

He put his show on and I rested my head on his shoulder as he was sipping on a drink.

" Thank you. It means a lot how you reacted. Like, a lot, a lot." I said.

He gave me a little smile and wrapped his arm around me . " Of course kid, it's about you, not me. My reaction and any other parents reaction should always be on helping their kid, and that's not just a physical thing. Words matter too."

" You understand." I said contently and smiled.

He nodded.

" I love you dad." I said.

" I love you too kid." He said.