Snakes and Lions (Draco x Reader x Harry)

5.03 Prefect

That's how the following days went. Harry would enter a room and I would leave it, or vise versa. He's allowed to go to Hogwarts, which is good news, although if nothing changes it's not good news for me. We haven't spoken to each other since. I don't even eat meals with everyone anymore, I leave that time to him. Sirius brings me every meal however, and sits with me while I eat.

That's how most days go, I spend my time in my own room, alone. Hermione and Ron come to visit but never for long, I wish they'd stay for longer. They probably think I don't want them there, that I'd rather sulk. That's the furthest thing from the truth. The more I sit alone, the more I'm left to my own damaging thoughts. It's my fault my parents died, it's my fault Cederic's dead, it's my fault Voldemort's back. If I had only been selfish and gone for the cup myself, none of this would have happened. I almost did, but then my good opinion at that time got the better of me. I don't sleep much, rarely at all, which is visible in the bags under my eyes, and my slightly shaky state of being. Sirius is worried and I can tell; he even begged Severus to bring some sleeping draught to a meeting. With everything I've learned at the Order meetings, it seems only plausible that I am the true villain here. My powers have caused my life to be damaged, it makes me feel as though that is destined to continue.

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Today is our last day before we go back to Hogwarts. Sirius brings me my Hogwarts letter, and I open it to see something else in there.

"Is that a prefect's badge?" Sirius asks me, picking it up and inspecting it.

"I guess so." I shrug and he turns to me.

"Well that's quite amazing, Y/n!" Sirius pats my shoulder. "I heard Ron and Hermione got them too." All I can manage in response is a fake smile. "You should be proud of yourself." Sirius says, more like begs.

"I guess I am." I shrug again.

Sirius let's out a long sigh. "Listen, you're not a bad person."

I finally turn to face him.

"You're just not." He looks at me. "You try your best to be good, isn't that all we can ever do?"

I scoot closer to him. "I failed." I say.

"Failed? At what? You're the brightest and most powerful witch of your age. You're destined for greatness." Sirius puts his arm around my shoulder.

"I couldn't save my family." I respond, breathing heavier. "I couldn't save my family."

"It's okay." He pulls me into a hug. Tears begin to flow from my eyes. No one has said that to me yet. They usually just say it isn't my fault, or that it was Voldemort, or that I didn't have to save them. No one has said that what I believe to be true is true, and yet it's not damning. No one has acknowledged how I feel until this very second. He said these magic words that have seemed to open my tears as well as my heart

"I couldn't save my family Sirius." I cry into his shoulder.

"And that's okay." He rubs my back. "That's okay, just let it all out. You're okay. You're safe here." He says to me. I release all I can for the next fifteen minutes, until my tears dry.

"Thank you, Sirius." I pull away from the hug.

"Are you better, now?" He asks me.

"Loads." I sniffle back, managing a smile.

"Good." Sirius sits on my bed. "Proud to be a prefect?"

"Very proud." I smile.

"Good, good." Sirius looks up at me. "Now we need to discuss something that's been bothering me for days." He says and I immediately roll my eyes, almost fully recovered from crying.