now you see me - omc x mason mount

chapter 28 - blue water thinking

5am ticked around but Jake had no idea what time it was. His phone was long since out of charge and only the light blue hues poking at the sky's edge, indicated that it was nearing sunrise. Jake sat there, on a London fire escape, overlooking the River Thames. The wine bottle next to him had dimmed the cold, as his head whirled with so many thoughts and feelings. Staring into the waters below, he had began to sift through them.

He couldn't believe Alex was there. Mason had been very quick to lose his rag. Why did Marcus get with his sister? What am I now doing when I'm meant to be a professional footballer? His mind swirled as he attempted to clear up how he felt. Whenever Jake saw Alex, his heart reminded him of the pain they had caused each other. He remembered their ending, the cheating, the tears. But he also felt guilty. That he couldn't give more of himself to Alex. He felt a deep guilt of how selfish he felt he had to be, to continue to chase his dreams. That had all been at Alex's expense. At their relationships expense. Jake felt like he could blame Alex because he was the one one who cheated, but really, he felt a deep sense of responsibility.

But everytime Jake saw him, he was also encompassed by anxiety. The fear of Alex deciding he would out him. Jake didn't ever think he would do it. For all of Alex's faults, he couldn't imagine him stooping so low. Yet, what was stopping him? And that's what panicked Jake. They'd just had a huge fight, Alex ending up in A+E. What if that was a catalyst for revenge? All of this anxiousness wasn't a new feeling for Jake. It was the reality of someone who lived in the closet to the outside world. Someone who feared being themselves for everyone to see. Jake had realised he wasn't himself with Alex. The chasm between their two worlds had grown too big over their relationship. To the point, that he had felt like he had to be two separate people. The gap between him and Mase felt non existent. He could be himself around him. He felt understood.

Mason had flown off the handle too quick, Jake thought. It hadn't been totally unprovoked, Alex had been fairly aggressive. But there wasn't a need for it to get physical. It upset Jake that it had done. There had been so much pain in the ending of him and Alex, and all this just felt like more. But what would have he done in Mase's shoes? Maybe something similar, so how mad could he be without being a hypocrite? Jake hadn't even had chance to see how his chat with Trent had gone. Mase was clearly upset, which wasn't a surprise to Jake given the topic of conversation and the amount of alcohol. He better check on him, Jake thought.

And Marcus. Was he mad at him? He definitely felt like the way Rash had gone about it wasn't cool, especially if he was just wanting a hook up. There were hundreds of worldies who wanted Marcus, so why pick his sister? It did make Jake mad. If they both liked each other, he could get over it. He didn't love seeing it right in front of his face, but what big brother would? Best friend and your sister isn't really on the 'good night out' checklist, is it?

The thinking had sobered Jake up, the wine bottle next to him now tinged with regret. 'You're meant to be a fucking professional Jake, get it together' he said to himself. He began to walk back to the hotel, the sun rising behind him. "Time to sort your shit out."

***

He walked into the hotel reception to George, Trent, Rashy, Niamh and Mase, all nervously sat around a table. Trent caught sight of Jake first, swiftly followed by the rest.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" Trent shouted, sounding more scouse than usual, "We were 15 minutes off phoning the police." He wrapped his arms around him. The rest of the group followed suit, creating a big hug around Jake's cold frame.

"We were bloody worried out our heads Rivs, where's your phone?" Rashy asked.

"Sorry, it died a couple of hours ago." Jake replied, as the hug subsided. Mase made his way to the middle and clung on for longer.

"I'm sorry J, I fucked up there a little." Mase conceded.

"Meh, the bastard had it coming." Rashy chimed over.

"It's okay Mase, happy to see you aren't hurt." Jake smiled. "I'm so tired though, can we go to bed?"

"Sure." Mase replied. Jake turned to George and Niamh, and they both got in on a second hug.

"Is he okay, George?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, no stitches needed. He'll be sore in the morning though." George responded.

"Glad you're back Jakey." Niamh added, and Jakey hugged her tighter.

"Right let's all get some bloody sleep." Trent called over everyone. They made their ways across to the lift, Rashy pulling Jake back.

"I need to apologise, man"

"Nah Rash, you don't, but let's do this tomorrow yeah?"

"Ok bro. Love you."

***

Mase followed Jake into his hotel room, both of them collapsing on the bed within minutes. The Chelsea player pulled his England teammate close to his chest. Having him close felt good. Mase couldn't explain why he had instantly lost it in the club, why simply hearing that it was Alex made him violent. But he hated that he had done that, and hated that he could've upset Jake.

"How did chatting to Trent go?" Jake murmured, muffled by Mason's chest.

"Good, think I got a bit deep into it. Got a bit upset. But good, he's a gem isn't he?"

"Yeah so sound, glad it was alright."

"Yeah, I don't know why but having those conversations always rip my insides a little bit." Mason admitted.

"They get easier Mount. You've just not had them very often." Jake drifted off to sleep in Mase's arms.