Broken Promises

I can't even hate you for breaking my heart

Y/N's POV

After knowing the truth I felt sad but I didn't had a breakdown so I am getting better that's for sure. I had to go therapy the next day I knew the truth but it helps me, I now see that when I talk about what I feel, it's like a weight is being off my shoulders and I feel better. I haven't buy my house and I know I really need to because I can't keep living at Scarlett's house, it seems like she doesn't mind because she hasn't told me anything and we make a good team together, but she keeps telling me that if I want to get back with Lizzie and she has been talking about Lizzie a lot I even asked her if she had a crush on her but she told me that she doesn't have feelings for her, so I don't know why she keeps talking about Lizzie

I have seen Lizzie two times after she told me the truth, it doesn't affect me as I thought it will, and if I'm honest every time I saw Lizzie she looks more gorgeous, I don't know if she is making it on purpose because when she caught me staring at her she smirked. I need to control myself, I don't trust her

I have been hiding from Daniel and the guys, I liked spending time with them while I was traveling but I don't want to keep seeing them special Daniel, it's just he thinks we can be something else and that's not going to happen, he keeps texting me but I ignore his texts sometimes

Now I just have 1 sessions with Emma per week, which is great, I haven't had panic attacks, I don't sleep on the floor, my nightmares disappear and I'm doing fine, I can think about Leo without wanting to cry, and with Guido well is still in process, I don't hate him as much as I used to but I don't like him, that's why I haven't seen him since he is back. And I'm not scared about Leo's death anniversary, it is going to be 3 years and I am not feeling bad, 1 year ago I was sad the whole month

Today is Luca's birthday which means I will have to see Guido, I need to control myself because I won't ruin Luca's birthday and I won't let Guido ruin it. I was on the gym when my mom called me

Me: Hey mom do you need something?

S: I just wanted to tell you that the family will come

Me: Uhm and by the family you mean...

S: Tu abuela, and some of your uncles and cousins

Me: Who invited them?

S: They are family Y/N, besides your abuela misses you

Me: I miss her too but I haven't seen in years

S: That's why she misses you, also please don't fight with your cousins

Me: Mom some of them are so annoying it's so hard to talk to them

S: You will have to talk to them

Me: No I won't, I will talk with Scarlett

S: Ugh whatever just don't be disrespectful

Me: I won't, I promise

I don't like hanging out with my cousins they just don't stop talking about how perfect their life is when everybody knows they just like to show off and they pretend to be the perfect family, one of them even told me that I was a horrible person because once I told him all his truths and I offended him but I just told him the truth, and he said I was lying. Anyways I don't have a good relationship with my cousins, and with my abuela well I'm ashamed to look at her because I haven't talk to her in years besides she doesn't know I like girls, I love her so much but she thinks being homosexual is a sin so I preferred tell her that I like just boys. That's a reason I haven't seen her besides being in Mexico brings me a lot of memories