EO oneshots//1998//2022

"excuses"

Set a few weeks after Elliots Return but before he said I love you to her in front of his family
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D.r Lindstroms office

Olivia crosses her legs in the chair across from her therapist, she watches as he write notes down

"Olivia, I want to talk to you about Elliot Stabler" Lindstrom said

Olivia shrugs "okay" she said softly

Lindstrom glances up at her "you took a break from coming to see me, at last session we talked about how you well you were coping with your ptsd, remember that ?" He asked

Olivia nods "yes, I remember..what does that have to do with Elliot?" She asked

"You came in today, I expected a conversation about him, how you were feeling with him being back, but instend" Lindstrom said and glanced at his notes "you've only talked about your past, William Lewis, who we haven't brought up in a long time, the ptsd, the trauma you've gone through in the last 12 years, you even brought up Noah being taken" he added

Olivia shifted in her seat "you're my therapist..aren't I supposed to talk to you about all that" she asked

Lindstrom watches her "Olivia, how does Elliot fit in to these events ?" He asked

Olivia went quiet, she looked down at her hands "he..he doesn't" she said

"Why not?" Lindstrom asked

Olivia sighs and rolled her eyes "because he wasn't there for any of them" she said

Lindstrom nods "so you associate Elliot with what you've gone through, though he wasnt there..do you blame him for it ?" He asked

Olivia takes a deep breath and looks up at him "yes" she said boldly

"But you just said he wasn't there, how is he at fault?" Lindstrom asked

"Because he should have been" Olivia said quickly, too quickly, "he-he should have been there" she added

"What difference could it have made ? I know we talked about this years ago, but I want to know if the answer has changed. If you went back in time to your most traumatic day...what would be different would it make if Elliot was there?" Lindstrom asked

"He would save me" Olivia said softly "he would..he would have made sure it didn't happen again" she added

Lindstrom glances at the clock "Olivia do you know where he is now?" He asked

Olivia shakes her head "working I assume" she said

"I'd like give you some homework" Lindstrom said

Olivia chuckles softly "okay" she said

Lindstrom leaned forward in his chair "talk to him" he said

Olivia looks down at her hands "I dont think that's possible right now. He's...not in the head space for a conversation like that" she said

Lindstrom leans back in his chair "may I be blunt?" He asked

Olivia smiles as she gestures toward him to go ahead

"Why do you make excuses for him?" Lindstrom asked

Olivia goes to speak but stops herself

Lindstrom sighs as a timer goes off "I'd like to see you more often Olivia" he said

Olivia chuckles softly "yeah.." she said standing up from her chair

Lindstrom stood up setting his notebook on his desk and opened a drawer "how about some homework for the time being?" He asked

Olivia stops at his door, she looks back at him

Lindstrom pulls out an empty notebook and hands it towards her "this notebook is Elliot, talk to him" he said

Olivia takes the notebook "seriously?" She asked

Lindstrom nods "yes, it's one-sided I know but, maybe this will help you figure out why you make excuses for him, why you blame him for things he wasn't there for" he said

Olivia sighs "okay" she said and opened the door "I'll see you next week" she added and left

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