EO oneshots//1998//2022

Noah Poter Benson

TW: mentions of r*pe  and r*pists
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"Mom, can I ask you something"

6 simple words followed by a conversation she never wanted to have with Noah

Olivia scooted over in her bed, she had just tucked Noah in and was about to hit her light when he appeared in her doorway. She knew it was serious, he had his elephant stuffy, something he hasn't carried around in years

"Whats up?" Olivia asked as he got into the bed next to her

Noah pulled his knees up, his fingers fidgeted with the stitching on his elbow

Olivia took a deep breath as she reached her arm around his shoulders "you can talk to me about anything Noah, you know this"

"Am I good person?" Noah asked quietly

Olivia smiled "the best. you're kind, you're caring, you're thoughtful, you-you came out at school just because your friend was being bullied, you stood from them and yourself...you're a great person"

Noah took a deep breath "but my dad was a rapist"

Olivia's heart broke and sank immediately. She kept her arm around him as she tries to find her next words but Noah spoke again

"How can I be a good person...if his dna is what made me?" Noah asked

Olivia pulled her arm back and moved on the bed to face him "Noah-"

Noah looked up at her, panic was on face as he explained how he found out "I googled you, then I googled the year I was born...I found a police blog that sent me to articles about the cases that year. you told me my dad's name was Johnny... so, I found an article about his case" he shook his head "I'm sorry"

Olivia frowned "oh Noah...th-thats a lot for you to learn, when did you do this?"

"Last night at Conners...he wanted to know who our dad was, I told him he was a criminal and...he said we should Google it" Noah said

Olivia sighed softly she went to speak when Noah cut her off again

Noahs voice cracked as a lump formed in his throat "Conner was so upset, he..he said we were probably adopted because no one wants to keep a baby from a rapist...he...he said we were basically monsters if our dad was one" Noah said

Olivia shook her head instantly "no, no Noah. You are not...baby, you are not a monster just because of where you come from"

Noah looked up at her, he had big tears in his eyes that broke Olivia's heart even more "you catch rapists all the time, sometimes their kids even...how am I any different?"

Olivia hesitated, only for a second though, "because I'm different" she took a deep breath "you may be adopted but you and I are so much alike"

Noah sniffled and pulled the elephant stuffy closer to him "what do you mean?"

"Noah, my father was a rapist too...thats how I was born" Olivia said

Noah's eyes moved down to his lap slowly "he was?"

Olivia nodded "and...and for a long time I believed the same as you, that what if I'm just as bad, what if I'm a monster" she reached over and grabbed Noah's hand softly "but we're not"

Noah looked up at her "did you know him?"

Olivia shook her head "not at all"

Noah sniffled again

Olivia ran her thumb over his hand softly "Noah, you and Conner are not bad people because of how you were born. You know the difference between right and wrong, you have empathy and compassion and trust me, that's all you need"

"You don't regret adopting me?" Noah asked

Olivia let out a breath "never, not in a millon years. you are my favorite thing on this earth, being your mom has given me more happiness than I could ever ask for. I dont regret a single second" she ran her hand over his hair softly

Noah ran his sleeve over her eye "I'm sorry for not telling you"

Olivia frowned "im sorry that you felt like you couldn't, that you and Conner had to learn all this by yourself"

"Conner hasn't told his parents, he said he's worried that they might not know...and then they won't love him anymore" Noah said

Olivia nodded "well, they know enough but I can talk to them if Conner wants me to, or if they want me to"

"Can I...can I sleep in here with you tonight?...there was a lot of stuff on that police blog and I didn't really sleep at Conners" Noah said

Olivia smiled softly "yes you can, and next time don't google something, just come talk to me, okay"

Noah nodded "okay"

Olivia held her arms out "gimmie a hug please"

Noah leaned forward and all but melted in her arms "I love you"

Olivia closed her eyes softly "I love you too, sweet boy" she pulled back slightly and pushed his curls back "get some sleep okay"

Noah nodded and crawled under the covers "mom?"

Olivia paused as she got under the covers "yes Noah"

Noah stared up at the ceiling "Conner wanted to know if his birth mom was alive or not....is she?"

Olivia sighed softly "I-...I dont know"

Noah turned to his side to face her "but shes probably not"

Olivia looked over at him, he had his stuffy curled to his chest, he looked like a toddler again, she ran the back of her finger down his cheek softly before she whispered "Noah.."

"I'm really glad you're my mom" Noah said softly before he scooted and curled into her wrapping his arms around her waist

Olivia rested her chin on top of his head as her eyes filled with tears that she tried to choke down "go to sleep baby" she ran her hand down the back of his head "I'm not going anywhere"
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