The Doctor's Dog [M/M]

02 - Chapter Two - Alessio Mihail's Point Of View.

Hiding in Caleb's bedroom, in our shared bed, wrapped around his pillow. I was hollow. I felt beyond empty. It wasn't like he was dead, just not home at the moment. Maybe working a long shift. Like I might close my eyes and when I open them again, he would be there. In bed, beside me.

A shower had only done me so good, and rereading the letter repeatedly until I burned every word into my brain wasn't healthy. I couldn't spend every second in this bed, no matter how much this felt like the only place where we had been at peace.

Caleb and I fought. We really did. But never did I fight inside the bedroom with him. That was a place of comfort and support only. It was the single biggest rule we maintained throughout everything. Tossing the pillow away, I forced myself out of the bed. I had things that needed my attention. Even if I was avoiding them. Or rather him. Caleb.

I needed information about where his body was and how he was going to be sent off. Would it be cremation or burial? Private or public? Did he have a family that would want to be present? More than all that, though. I needed to see his body. I needed to see that it was all real. Not just terrible feelings I might wake up from.

Besides, I needed to check Sasha's hand, in case he broke or fractured any of the bones.

Pushing myself out of the bed, I took a deep breath of the air, really taking in Caleb's scent. The first few steps out of the bedroom hurt, but not physically, more emotionally and mentally. Here, for the moment, I was safe, enveloped in my own delusions that I could open my eyes, and this was all just a bad dream.

I wanted to pull out all my hair, scream, fight and argue, but what good would that do for me right now? Nothing.

Only dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, I grabbed my phone and my keys. Not wasting another moment, not even one to check the time. Not that the medic wing had any time limit. Taking one last deep breath, I left his wing. This was now or never.

The halls were quiet. It wasn't something I was used to. Hell, there was always someone up, no matter the time here. Except now, it seemed.

Getting to the door, the auto-lock had been changed, but it looked like my key would still work if my phone didn't. Opening the door, I was almost shocked it opened the way it had. But then again, I was now the only doctor able to treat anyone.

The lights were on, but not the good ones, only the night ones. My bare feet made little sound on the tiled floor as I walked. The space felt different now. Having known by Caleb's own words what he had planned to do in the supply closet and having done it. The room was charged.

The entire door was replaced, and I turned the doorknob and looked inside. Not a darn thing looked out of place or like Caleb had ended his suffering here. I knew where we held the bodies of our members before we gave them a funeral, but I hesitated to make my way there.

It took everything in me to open the door to the only room we kept off limits to pretty much everyone. It was nothing special, just a large room, like a freezer where the bodies were kept. The air in the room was cold and only a single body bag lay on a table. Giving myself a few moments to really prepare, I grabbed the zipper and pulled.

Opening the bags, I wasn't sure what I could handle when I flipped the body bag back. Seeing his face. I might just lose it right there, not a single moment of warning. Flipping back the bag, my breath caught in my chest and it was so real. There he was, almost like he was sleeping. I touched his cheek, and it was so damn cold, deathly cold.

"God... Why.. Caleb? You could have just called me and been honest about this. I hope you can hear me."

He couldn't answer me back. I knew this. But it didn't stop me from speaking or asking him stupid questions. Caleb wanted one thing, and he made it clear in his letter to me. It was another reason I was here. He just wanted to be wheeled out to the far backyard and burned. Allowed to float away when he was just ashes. Funny how much we thought about dealing with our problems the same way. I wanted to burn my useless stuff, and he wanted to burn the body he left behind.