The Doctor's Dog [M/M]

03 - Chapter Three - Alessio Mihail's Point Of View.

Six a.m. That's when I had my alarm set for. I knew it was early, but I had to do something. I slept for an hour again, maybe a little more, but it wasn't much more than that. I felt numb around others, and I was ok with that, but being in the space alone gave me too much time to think about how this had happened and how I had been so damn blind to it. I didn't even linger in the bed longer than I had to. It was too much for me.

Sadness welled up inside of me, and it was painful. I felt trapped by the pain, and it hadn't really even started yet. I knew this.

Once I finally let go of his body, that was it. There was nothing left. Just thinking about it brought me deep pain. Tucking my knees up to my chest, I trembled as tears streaked down my cheeks and I sobbed deeply. I never felt this unstable in my life as I did right here. I heard my phone go off, and I checked the message through the heavy tears. It was Lukas. He was asking me to come over. I didn't know why, but it was better than being here. Alone.

Pulling myself away from the couch, I didn't bother with shoes or keys. Just me. That was all I needed. I knew for a fact that my dad was not up. He didn't get up until seven at the earliest unless he had to. I knew Lukas had lost his mother, and that was painful for him; he knew what I was feeling, and he probably knew I couldn't be alone to handle that.

Walking down the hall, I texted him to let him know I was a mess and on my way. I didn't even get to use my phone to unlock the door. He was waiting there with the door open. He was in lounge clothing and his hair was all over. But he was awake.

"Come inside. I have tea on and you look like you could use a glass."

"Alright."

"Your dad's not up, but he should be soon."

"No worries. I don't need him to see me like this. I've just spent a minute sobbing."

"Your dad is worried about you. I'm worried about you, too."

"I will be ok."

"I know the pain of loss and I know what it does."

"I appreciate this. I didn't want to sit alone there right now."

"You look rough."

"I feel rough. I know we are going to deal with Caleb today and his wishes. That is where this is all rough for me. Once his body is gone, I have nothing left of him."

I sat down and Lukas brought me a cup of tea. A coffee in front of himself. He looked good, and I was happy for him and dad. They were honestly perfect for each other. The cup of tea warmed my hands, and Lukas clicked his tongue at me. He stood up and closed the space between us. He used his sweater sleeves to wipe the tears from my eyes.

"Damn kid. You're not even my kid, but I hate to see you hurt like this."

"It's because I look like my dad."

"While that is scarily the truth, that's not why I care about you."

"I know."

He hugged me. I hated how gentle he was with me. No one, not even my mother, was like this with me. While everyone cared and showed me love, it wasn't at all like this.

"Well, this is cute." I heard my father say as he walked out of the bedroom.

"Oh shush. I need to make sure for my ‌sake that he is ok." Lukas grumbled about it.

"I'm alive, so I must be ok."

"You want to go get some help with that?"

"Right now, no. I need to deal with this on my own. Even if it scares me to be alone in that space. At least when I'm around others, I'm more than numb. Alone though, that's when everything comes bubbling in."