Solitude (Clementine X Male Reader)

Salvation-Anxious

Three Months Later...

Eight days to Salvation's fall...

I sleep, and my dreams are filled with nightmares. I stay awake, and my thoughts are consumed by the same nightmares. That's the cycle. It always has been. Unfortunately, I've never gotten used to it. I was never taught how to deal with my emotions or anxiety. Clementine always tries to help, but I'm not sure she knows what she's talking about, either. We've all got problems and no therapists to help us. Clem might be the best I have, then, and I'm not complaining.

Lately, I feel that my anxiety has gotten worse. I'm stuck with this tightness in my chest and stomach every day. I can feel it in my bones. Suddenly, I'm stuck with a group of people that I actually like, and I can't just leave because doing so would fuck me up worse than staying with them. But, the closer we get to Salvation, the more worried I get. In a week, we begin. We've been planning for three months, and I want more time. More time to plan and make sure it's flawless. More time to spend with the group. Maybe it's good to get it over with, but I want to run the other way. My instincts are telling me to leave and get as far away as I can.

I doubt anyone would listen if I spoke up. I don't think I'd listen to myself. But I know we need it, so I don't say anything. Maybe this'll end with us dying. Maybe that's a good thing... And if someone has to die, let it be me.

You're on watch, sitting on the stairs leading up to the house you're staying in. It's been a few hours since the sun went down, and the rest of your group has turned in for the night. There won't be any problems.

The door opens behind you, and you turn to look.

Brooklyn: Kind of cold tonight.

You: You should be sleeping.

Brooklyn: Couldn't.

She sits down next to you.

Brooklyn: Violet and Louis are sleeping; it's fine. Don't worry about it.

You: Tomorrow is the day they're meant to be back. If they're not, we have to go look for them.

Brooklyn: I know. Why do you think I can't sleep?

You: I was hoping they would get here today.

Brooklyn: I'm sure they're fine.

You: There's the chance they aren't. That's why we didn't go with them.

Brooklyn: They'll be fine... How's watch been? Anything interesting?

You: I heard a walker a while ago but never saw it.

Brooklyn: That's it?

You: That's it.

Brooklyn: It's been a while since we've seen Salvation.

You: Three months or so.

Brooklyn: I'm just ready to get rid of them. I hate having to worry about them.

You: It doesn't seem like we've needed to. It looks like they're not even searching for us.

Brooklyn: Maybe. We're a good distance away, though. They may just be hunkering down, waiting for us to come back.

You: That would make things harder.

Brooklyn: We have a solid plan. It'll work out.

You: I hope.

Brooklyn: What's your deal, anyway?

You: What do you mean?

Brooklyn: You know what I'm talking about. You're always so down and depressing lately.