TF2 One-Shot Fanfics

All The Mercs - Kittens

One day after a long battle, all the mercs were heading back to base, engie was driving the truck with mostly everyone in it and slowly behind was sniper and medic in sniper's camper van, sniper and medic were usual slow because there was no rush getting back and they like to spend time together since they haven't seen each other much during the battle
medic was looking out the window and it was a bland desert with a few cactuses and tumble weeds but there was a lovely sunset so it didn't matter, as medic was looking out the window he sees something that seem odd, he sees a pile of dumped boxes and as he was watching the boxes one of the boxes moved on the top of the pile, sniper looks at medic as he was driving slowly then looks at the boxes medic was looking at and then he notices the moving box since it was shaking, sniper stopped the van and as he did the moving box falls off the pile of boxes, it tumbled to the ground and a bunch of kittens fell out, medic jump out the van and went over to the kittens, medic put the box upright, put all the kittens in the box and take it back to the van
"are they alrought?" sniper asks as medic got in the van
"i think so but i'll check them as you are driving" medic replies
sniper starts the van and continued to drive slowly while medic is checking the kittens out, there was 9 kittens in the box, they was a small ginger kitten, a spotted tabby kitten with a docked tail, a black and white kitten with the black being spots like a dalmatian, a chocolate bown kitten with one eye, a puffy gray and white kitten, a ginger and white kitten with a gold fur on its right paw, a white kitten, a jet black kitten and a calico kitten with ginger fur on its face that looks like a mask
"they all seem to be fine" medic says putting the white kitten in the box, then the white kitten jumps out the box and curls up on medic's lap
"that kitten seem to like you" sniper says looking at the kitten then the jet back kitten mews at sniper and tried to jump out the box "hello little fella" sniper says picking up the jet black kitten with his free hand and puts the kitten on his lap, the kitten curled up and started purring
"looks like you have a friend" medic says looking at the kitten while stroking the white kitten
"yeah...looks like we're back at the base now" sniper say as he turns into the base, sniper and medic put the kittens in the box, medic picks up the box, both of them get out the van and head inside
when they got inside everyone looks at them
"what's in the box?" scout asks walking over to medic with the box "are those...kittens?"
"ja, we found them on a pile of boxes" medic says, scout looks in and the small ginger kitten mews very loudly and jumps at scout
"aww" scout says picking up the small ginger kitten, the kitten mew a little quieter then paws scout's nose "this one loves me"
then soldier comes over to medic as scout walks out the way, the spotted tabby looks at soldier, jumps on his sleeve and climbs up to his head, then the kitten purrs and rubs soldier's face
"this is my kitten now" soldier says picking up the kitten and putting it in his arms, the kitten purred loudly
then pyro came over picks up the spotty black and white kitten, he mumbles something before walking out the way, sit on the floor and play with the kitten
demoman drunkly came over and notice the chocolate brown kitten with one eye, he picks it up and the kitten mews in a deep meow
"this one looks like me" demo says putting the kitten in his arms and stroking it, he then walks away
heavy then comes over, looks in the box and sees the gray and white poofy kitten, the kitten looks at heavy, mews and jumps up, heavy puts his hand out and the kitten jumps on his hand, he then lifts up the kitten and the kitten purrs
"i like this kitten" heavy says "its big and soft like me" heavy then moves out the way
then engie comes over and sees the ginger and white kitten with the gold fur on it's right paw, the kitten moves forward and gives a small mew
"hello little guy" engie says picking up the kitten "looks like we are going to be friends" the kitten mews and purrs in response and it made engie smile, he then walks away
last one to come over was spy, he wasn't really a cat person but he decided to check the kitten out anyway, he looks in the box and calico kitten looks at spy and mews at him, spy puts his hand in the box and strokes the kitten, the kitten reponces by purring really loudly, then jump up on spy sleeve and claws to his face, the kitten then rubs its head on spy's face
"looks like the kitten chose you spook" sniper says picking up the black kitten and putting it on his shoulder
"oh great" spy says walking away from the mercs point of view, then he picks it up and rubs his face agents the kittens making the kitten purr
"ok everyone, put your kittens back in the box, i need to do a check up on them" medic says "you can have them back when i'm done"
everyone sighs and put the kittens back in the box except sniper who still has the kitten on his shoulder, medic then grabs sniper and they walk to the infirmary, when they get there medic check on the kittens one by one, after checking the ones in the box, he finds out that all the kittens are male and they are all healthy with no injuries to them, demo's kitten was born with no eye and it didn't mind it was gone, medic gave all the mercs there kittens back, told them what he found out about the kitten then comes back to the infirmary
the last 2 kitten medic had to check was his and sniper's kitten so he check his kitten first, the kitten loves getting the attention and was purring loudly while medic was checking it out, after that check up medic finds out that his kitten is also male and he is healthy like the others, the kitten went over to medic and headbutts him, medic strokes the kitten then kisses it on the head, the last kitten medic needed to check was sniper's kitten so he goes over to sniper, sniper was having a nap on medic's desk chair and the kitten was on his lap, medic smiled and took the kitten off snipers lap, he then went over to the table and put the black kitten down, the black kitten looks around and mews, medics kitten then goes over to snipers kitten and starts washing it, the black kitten was enjoying the wash and medic starts doing the kittens check up, after he was done he finds out that snipers kitten is a healthy and a male, he smiles and watched as sniper's kitten and medic's kitten played with each other
sniper wakes up a few minutes later, he looks over at medic and the kittens, he smile to see the kittens are getting along with each other and he stands up, medic hears him and looks over at him
"i see your kitten and my kitten are friends" sniper says going over to medic wheeling his chair over
"ja my kitten also gave your a wash" medic says looking at sniper who sat down next to medic after parking his chair "your kitten is perfectly healthy and it turns out that all the kittens are male"
"that's cool" sniper says watching the kittens play "have you though a name for your kitten?"
"no not yet, have you?" medic replies
"i'm thinking about it" sniper says
sniper and medic watch the kitten and then the kitten got bored of playing and go over to sniper and medic for attention
"i'm going to call you Medizin" medic says stroking his kitten
"is that medicine in german?" sniper asked
"ja" medic says as the kitten headbutts him
sniper then looks at his kitten and is trying to think of a name
"how about Sooty since its sooty black" medic says
sniper looks at medic, smiles then looks back at his kitten
"you wanna be called Sooty little fella?" sniper asked the kitten, the kitten reponces by mewing then headbutting sniper "i'm guessing that's a yes" sniper then strokes the kitten
meanwhile with scout he was spending time with his kitten
"your a cute little guy" scout says stroking his kitten who is purring loudly "you are also smaller then the other kittens like i'm the youngest brother"
the kitten mews and then he notices a fly in the corner, he bolts towards the fly and jumps really high to catch the fly in his mouth
"...wow" scout says speechless to the kittens fastness "you are fast like me too"
the kittens kills the fly then returns to the bed for attention from scout
"i'm going to name you dashie" scout says stroking the kitten
the kitten mews and headbutted scout
"you like that name...i like it too" scout says and snuggles dashie
soldier and engineer were in engineer's workshop, engie was building something with his kitten next to him trying to help and soldier was sitting on the sofa stroking his kitten, engie watched as the kitten was trying to play with the bolts
"you are funny little guy" engie says petting the kitten on the head, the kitten then starts playing with the screws on the table and engie watched as the kitten kept knocking the screws off the table
"hey soldier boy" engie says "have you thought of a name for your kitten?"
"his name is private ryan" soldier shouts
"ok..." engie says "still trying to think a name for mine"
soldier looks at engie's kitten and the kitten was poking the screws on the floor
"how about screwball" soldier says
"hmm...yeah i like that, screwball it is" engie says and he picks up his kitten "hey little guy, do you like the name screwball?" the kitten replies with a purr "that's a yes"
heavy ended up called his kitten poofy, demoman called his kitten laddie, spy called his poirot and pyro called it mumbles everyone loved their kitten and the kittens loved them
A while later all the kittens were hungry so everyone gave the kittens something to eat and it it filled their bellies up, then they all fell asleep by the fireplace, dashie was sleeping next to poofy, private ryan was cuddling screwball, mumbles was the closest to the fire, laddie was next to dashie and poofy, poirot was next to mumbles and sooty and medizin were cuddling each other next to private ryan and screwball, all the mercs had passed out in the living room after watching tv (they are all in the same place that their were in my other fanfic, connected dream) and after a while the kittens woke up and moved to their new owners and fell asleep next or ontop of them sleeping peacefully.
The end...for now