TF2 One-Shot Fanfics

Helmet Party - The Pyro is a Baby?!

It was a nice day and the mercs were waking up as usual, scout was the second to last to wake up and he tiredly heads to the kitchen where the others were having breakfast
"hey scout" sniper says calmly before he takes a sip of his coffee
"hi" scout mumbles with a little wave and he goes over to the fridge
"have you guys seen pyro? it's not like him to be late, he usually wakes up after me and soldier and before heavy" engineer says sounding like a worried parent and the other sadly shake their head
"i haven't seen him since last night" scout says as he leans on the fridge with a bonk in his hand "where he was happily giggling which sticking stickers in his sticker book" he adds as he open his bonk
engineer sighs as he leans his head on his hand and soldier looks at him concerned before he sits his coffee, suddenly the kitchen doors swing open and everyone looks at the door expecting pyro but he wasn't there making everyone confused
"mama!" a muffled voice says and everyone looks down to see pyro who looked to be a 18 month old baby waddling into the kitchen
"aww, would you look at that, a baby pyro!" demoman says as he happily points to pyro
"pyro? what happened to you? why are you a baby?" engineer says after he gets up and kneels to pyro's level
"mmm....mama!" pyro says muffled first looking confused then happily as he hugs engineer happily
"ha, he thinks you're his ma, hard hat" scout says amused before taking a gulp from his bonk
engineer sighs annoyed as he picks up pyro and he goes over to the fridge to take out a juice box for pyro, pyro takes the juice happily after engineer stabs the straw into the foil part at the top and pyro sips the juice happily while engineer sits back down next to soldier who looked confused by the baby pyro but he wasn't angry
"hmm...i'm going to guess that magic was involved in turning pyro into a baby but the question is where did the magic come from?" medic says as he examines pyro from his chair while having his hand on his chin to think
"and worse, we don't know how long pyro is going to be a baby for, it could be a simple 24 hour effect or worse a decade effect" sniper adds looking worried and this makes the others worried
"engineer, please take pyro to the infirmary after we had our breakfast, i need to make sure he's okay from this weird effect he's going though" medic says concerned and engineer nods seriously as he glances over at pyro
"sure thing, doc" engineer says seriously and medic smirks at him before carrying on with his food
a while later and medic, engineer and pyro were in the infirmary with medic examining pyro and engineer was standing next to the table looking a little concerned but mainly emotionless, sniper and soldier were there too with sniper at the desk tossing a ball in the air while having his feet on the desk and soldier was standing a few feet away from sniper with his arms behind his back
"hmm...it seems like pyro is okay, i don't see anything different, he's just a lot younger" medic says as he looks at a board then at engineer "i suggest you give him 24 hours and hopefully he should be back to his normal size by tomorrow but if he isn't...then we have to make him sit out of fights as he is too young to fight" he explains and engineer nods sadly
"i understand" engineer says in a sad mumble and he goes over to pyro
"don't worry, engineer, i know we have a battle today but i know you'll take great care of baby pyro" medic says happily and engineer gives medic a sad smile after he picks up pyro
"i know, thanks doc" engineer says calmly and he starts walking out
he walks past soldier who snaps out of his thought and he quickly follows engineer out of the infermary looking concerned and worried
"is pyro going to be a baby forever?" sniper asks medic calmly as he looks at him with a worried face
"i don't know, liebe...i don't know" medic replies as he looks at the door engineer, pyro and soldier left out of and he looked worried
in the hallway and soldier still looked at engineer with concerned while engineer was looking down sadly while still holding pyro
"what did medic say?" soldier asks as he wasn't really paying attention to the conversation as he was more thinking on how to make engineer happy again
"he says that we need to keep an eye on pyro and if he doesn't change back to his normal age and height by tomorrow-...then we have to force him out of the fight as he will be too young to fight" engineer explains sound both sad and stressed
"oh...b-but don't think of the negative part, private, umm...l-let just make sure pyro is happy while he is a baby private twinkle toes, okay" soldier says stumbling his words as he rubs the back of his head nervous,y hoping he says the right thing
"...*sigh* you're right, soldier, i've been stressing about pyro being a baby that i was forgetting pyro is, in fact, a baby and we need to make sure he's happy in his baby form" engineer explains calmly then he gives a sweet smile to soldier "thank you, soldier" he says happily with a little blush
soldier smiles at engineer also having a little blush and the pair go into the locker rooms to get ready to head out to battle, the battle today was at double cross so engineer's job was to guard the intelligence from the BLUs while keeping an eye on the enemy spy, before they head out though, the 8 mercs plus baby pyro were in the spawn room
"right then, men, today's battle will be different as we have a small issue with pyro but that shouldn't stop us from keeping the intelligence safe and taking those BLU maggots intelligence right under their small noses, got it?" soldier says in his leader voice and everyone nods while looking annoyed "good, dismissed!" he adds happily and he lets everyone go
the others walk away to grab what they need ready to fight and soldier goes over to engineer who smiles at soldier when he sees him going over to him as he was taking his helmet off
"remember, engie, if you need anything, call me and i'll be right over as fast as i can, okay?" soldier says calmly to engineer who nods smiling at soldier
"yeah, good luck out there, okay and i'll be in the intel room if you need any ammo even if the respawn room isn't that far away" engineer replies and soldier looks at engineer affectionly
soldier then bends down a little and kisses engineer on the cheek which makes engineer chuckle quietly then he grabs soldier's face lightly to give him a lip kiss, after the kiss, the pair smile at each other then soldier puts his helmet back on just for the 10 second countdown to start, engineer gets ready with his shotgun, wrangler, wrench and he picks up pyro who was excited even if he doesn't know what was happening
"5...4...3...2...1...begin!" the lady's voice says open the speakers and the doors open for everyone to charge out
everyone goes to the battlefield where guns went off, rockets were fired and miniguns were revved up and engineer goes to the intel room with pyro in his arms, when he gets there, he puts pyro down in the floor next to the intel and he sets up his sentry, teleporter and dispenser in the room after giving pyro a few pieces of A4 paper and his favourite crayons
"right, pyro, you stay there and keep colourung in your drawing and don't leave this room, got it?" engineer says a she kneels down to pyro who was still colouring
pyro looks up at engineer and he smiles giving engineer a few happy claps before going back to his colouring, engineer huff sighs and then he goes back to his building getting them to level 3, pyro was happily colouring in the paper with no idea what he was doing only knowing it was fun, engineer did leave a few times to go to the respawn to get more metal but pyro did stay where he was and engineer always sighed in relief to see pyro didn't move, engineer managed to get his sentry and the teleporter to level 3 and that just left the dispenser so he goes over to it to make it level 3.
as he was distracted by the dispenser, pyro was still drawing on the paper when something catches his eye in the little courtyard to the right of him, he looks at the courtyard and then he sees some birds pecking at the ground, pyro smiles and claps happily before he gets up and waddles to the courtyard, when he gets to the courtyard, the birds freak out seeing pyro and they all fly off in different directions, one of the birds lands on the railing on the other end of the courtyard and pyro smiles wanting the follow the bird, he then briefly sad seeing there wasn't a way up to the bird until he smiles again seeing a long plank of wood leaning on the rail to the right so he goes over to it.
back in the intel room and engineer had just finished upgrading his dispenser to level 3 and he smiles proudly as he hears his sentry going off killing to what to be the BLU scout
"well, that was easy" engineer mumbles to himself happily as he finally looks up to look at the sentry
he was about to go over to it to repair the bullets it lost when he spots that pyro wasn't where he was meant to be
"pyro?" engineer says calling out to pyro starting to get stressed "pyro?!" he says again starting to panic more as he leave past the left door to see pyro had gone out there
he walks out to the other door not seeing pyro and then he went to the little shack to check if he didn't fall into the sewers which he didn't, engineer was very stressed panicking now not seeing pyro and he runs over to the right archway on the other end of the intel room, pyro had now managed to get up to the railing and when he does, he spooks the bird he was after and it flew through the window in front of the railing, pyro sulks as he sees the bird leave and he falls onto the wooden platform where he decides to go to the right leading to a open area to outside, engineer at this point came to the courtyard but couldn't see pyro as he just missed him
"aw, dannit!" engineer says frustrated as he kicks the ground and he goes back into the intel room
he fixes up his sentry and sits at the desk under the stair feeling like he failed to take care of pyro, back with pyro and he was on the opening crawling passed without sniper hearing him or detecting his present as he was too busy trying to get the BLU heavy-medic duo before the medic could pop the über, baby pyro then fall off the opening by climbing off and he was saved before hitting the ground by archimedes who happened to be flying by, pyro thanks the white dove then waddles off going across the below bridge for a train to go by but the rails have been abandoned, meanwhile above pyro and the REDs and BLU were fighting hard to not let the other get though to the building, demoman and soldier were shooting at the BLU heavy, medic, demoman and soldier, the medic and heavy were trying to push the BLUs away, as mentioned earlier, sniper was on the opening balcony trying to shoot the BLU medic and heavy but also having a duel with the BLU sniper and lastly, the spies were around somewhere but nobody or cared where.
as the fight was going, soldier was firing his rockets at the enemy heavy, medic, scout who just came out, soldier and demoman and after he managed to crit kill the scout, he smiles happily but then stops as he felt something off, he gets confused as he stands up from his crouch and he looks around feeling like he needed to do something but he wasn't sure what it was
"aye, what's ta matter, soldier-lad?" demoman says seeing soldier acting odd
"umm...it's nothing...i guess" soldier says then he mumbles as he didn't know what was wrong
"...why don't you go and check on the engineer? maybe that will calm your nerves" demoman says thinking of an idea for soldier
"umm...i want to but i know he's fine, he's the strongest man i know especially when looking after pyro, so i'm okay" soldier explains and demo understood as he pats soldier on his shoulder
"incoming!" the pair hear medic shout and both soldier and demoman turn around to see the BLU heavy and medic trying to push
soldier and demoman get back to shooting at the BLU heavy-medic duo but as soldier manages to kill the BLU medic after his uber ran out, he couldn't help but feel off that something was wrong with engineer and pyro, back with pyro and he was now on the BLU side of the bridge, he was looking between the stairs to go up to the battlefield and the tunnel that lead into the sewers, he decides to go into the sewers as he waddles into the tunnel, he gets to the water part of the sewers and he then heads left where he gets to the stairs heading up to the base and the sallow pool of water, he didn't like the water so he got out of it and shakes his body before he went up the stairs slowly as he had to climb each step, meanwhile with scout and he had the BLUs intel and he was running fast to the REDs intel room to drop off the intel, as he ran, he killed the BLU spy who was disguised as a pyro and he goes to the intel room to drop off the intel
"success, the intellagence is secured" the lady in the speaker says and scout cheers
"yes! and that is how it's do-..." scout says happily but then stops himself when he sees engineer at the desk looking sad "umm, hard hat? are you okay?" he asks as he slowly goes over to engineer looking confused
"no, i've lost pyro! i looked away for a few seconds to fix the dispenser and pyro was gone! i don't know where he went and i've looked all over the base" engineer says complaining in a sad way and scout looks at engineer sadly "...look, can you see if you can find him? and if you se soldier, tell him too, he needs to know" he adds and scout nods seriously
"sure, i'll go and look for that fire lover if it's the last thing i do" scout says seriously and he runs off on his mission
engineer sighs again and hopes that he was just having a bad dream and pyro will be there when he wakes up, scout runs to the battlefield and he skids to a halt when he sees soldier
"soldier, we have an issue" scout says as he goes over to soldier and stands in front of him
"what is it, city boy?" soldier replies looking annoyed scout was bothering him
"it's pyro, he wondered off and engineer has gone into a pickle, he told me that he looked away for a few seconds to fix the dispenser and the next thing he knew, pyro was gone so yeah, i go and look in the BlU base for him but if you spot him, take him back to engineer, he reminds me of me ma when she tells me off for running off" scout explains in his fast way but also calmly and soldier looked very concerned when he was done
scout then runs off to the BLU base and soldier decided to go and check on engineer to see if he was okay, scout zooms into the BLU base and he was about to start looking around for pyro but he ended up getting distracted by the BLU scout wanted a duel which scout accepted looking cocky, the two scout were now having a one v one in the courtyard and he doesn't notice pyro was at the top step from the sewers, pyro was a little tired from climbing the stairs but then he got distracted by the room, he started to look around when he gets stopped by a shadow looming over him, he turns around and there, standing behind him was the BLU pyro who look at pyro confused, meanwhile at the red intel room and soldier was comforting engineer while sadly hugging him
"it's okay, engie, scout will find pyro...i hope" soldier says calmly as he holds engineer close to him
"i hope so...i feel like i've failed pyro, i was only meant to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and distracted but i failed" engineer says as he grabs soldier's jacket weakly while still hugging him
"engineer, look up at me" soldier says as he lightly grabs engineer's face making enigneer look up at him still looking sad as he takes off his goggles "you didn't fail pyro, pyro just has a easy distracted mind now as he's a baby and he probably saw something causing him to wonder off, you love pyro like hes your child and i know when pyro comes back, you will be in your mom mode and guarding pyro like your life depends on it so no, you didn't fail and i know you didn't so please, don't beat yourself up about it, okay?" he explains calmly yet seriously as he still had engineer's head in his hands and engineer looks at soldier in the eyes before he smiles sweetly at him
"your right, thank you, darling, your the sweetest" engineer says smiling and he gives soldier a kiss on the lips making soldier smile with a blush
"umm, yeah...i mean" soldier says embarrassed and engineer chuckles as he puts his goggles back on his face
"but, there's still the issue on pyro being missing! where did he go?" enigneer says looking at soldier a little stressed and soldier goes to think
"...i'll go look for him, i know scout is but knowing him, he's probably gotten distracted so you stay here and i'll head to the BLU base to see if he's there" soldier says seriously after he thought and he grabs his rocket launcher from the desk after backing away from engineer a little
"really? thank you again, darling and please, bring him back safe, okay, love" engineer says as he leans on soldier and soldier smiles and gives a single nod to engineer
soldier then places a kiss on engineer's lips before he runs off leaving engineer watching the door that soldier left unable to stop smiling, meanwhile back at the BLU base and both baby pyro and the BLU pyro were having some kind of staring contest as they kept looking at each other while tilting their heads like puppies, the baby pyro was amazed on how big the other pyro was while the BLU pyro was amazed on how the RED pyro looked weird as he sees the baby pyro as a puppy with pyro's face, the pair felt like they were staring at each other forever when suddenly a red grenade came from nowhere and went between the 2, the BLU pyro didn't see it while baby pyro did as he looks down at it, suddenly, the BLU pyro explodes from the grenade and baby pyro ends up getting blood on his face, the baby pyro then starts crying seeing that his new friend was gone and he runs off to the left heading to the shack outside, meanwhile, soldier was about to rocket jump from the RED base to the BLU base when he suddenly sees pyro running to the little blue shack to the right if the base
"pyro!" soldier says shocked seeing pyro and he rocket jumps as fast as he could to the shack
when he gets there, he sees pyro crying to the left of the shack and he slowly approached him
"pyro? a-are you okay?" soldier asks seeing pyro crying
pyro looks at soldier and soldier gives pyro a soft smile which helped pyro calm down a little, pyro then lets soldier pick him up and he snuggles into soldier for comfort as he was scared and upset, soldier didn't know what to think but he let pyro snuggle into him knowing it's what pyro needed, soldier then rocket jumps to the platform sniper was on and as he does, pyro felt the breeze on his face making him feel nice as he could see everything, soldier then lands on the platform saying hi to sniper after he lands who waves back before getting back to work and he walks to the little courtyard pyro saw the bird at and he jumps over the railing, he then went up the stairs and goes into the intel room where enigneer was sitting at the desk again
"engie! i found him!" soldier says happily as he looks at pyro who was looking around the room
"pyro! there you are! you had me worried sick, you wonderer!" engineer says happily as he takes pyro off soldier and he hugs pyro happily
"mama!" pyro says muffled happily as he snuggles into engineer's hug
soldier smile seeing how wholesome the hug was and he gives a relieved huff seeing how happy enigneer was again as he was worried engineer would be sad forever, soldier then decides to leave as he wanted to get back to the battle so he heads to the door, pyro see soldier leaving and he reaches his hand out not wanting him to go
"d-...dad-dy!" pyro says muffled sounding worried as he he does a grabby hand with his right hand
soldier stops in his track looking up confused and engineer also pauses looking shocked as he pulls pyro off of him to look at him
"what did you say?" engineer says confused as he holds out pyro hoping he wasn't hearing things
"dad-dy!" pyro says muffled again as he now does both grabby hands to soldier while looking at him as as he turns around
soldier looks at pyro and engineer looks at soldier the pair looking stunned, soldier then sighs with a smirk and he goes over to engineer and pyro dragging his rocket launcher next to him
"huh? it looks like pyro see us as his parents" engineer says amused and he chuckles as he looks at soldier
"yeah..." soldier mumbles and he looks at enigneer with a smirk
"you can stay here if you want, i'm sure the others have it covered out there plus i don't think pyro doesn't want you to leave" engineer says smiling at soldier then looks down at pyro who was smiling happily
"sure!" soldier says happily and this makes engineer smile as well as pyro
the trio then stayed in the intel room and chilled out ending up sleeping with engineer in his relax chair cuddling pyro who was asleep on his chest and soldier was asleep at the desk chair cuddling the intel, scout then came in with the intel and this cause the REDs to win the round, scout tries to cheer but seeing soldier, engineer and pyro asleep causes him to go and cheer in the respawn room with the others, a while later and the mercs were back at the base cheering happily that they won the round, everyone except pyro was having drinks and partying until they got tired and went to bed while pyro was put to bed as he was still asleep, the next morning and everyone except pyro was down in the kitchen with a bit of a headache from the party then the doors open to reveal that pyro was back to his normal height again
"pyro! im so happy that you're freakin' normal size again!" scout says happily seeing pyro not a baby anymore
pyro nods happily and he goes over to make breakfast for himself and the others, everyone was thankful for the breakfast he made and then he looks over at soldier and enigneer who were snoozing on each other
'thanks you for protect me, mom and dad' pyro thought and he smiles before going to clean up his mess
the others keep having their breakfast and it was happily a ceasefire day so everyone had something to do which meant soldier and enigneer got to sleep in and pyro was glad they got their sleep.
The End