TF2 One-Shot Fanfics

Helmet Party - The Team Parents

It was a nice clear night at the RED base and everyone was chilling in the rec room except for soldier and engineer who were in engineer's workshop, the 7 mercenaries were minding their own business with scout and heavy sitting at the table with scout reading a comic book while slowly drinking his bonk and eating a bag of cheese puffs, heavy was opposite him reading a book he picked up from the library, demoman was sitting at the sofa drinking a bottle of beer as he didn't want to be fully drunk tonight, pyro was sitting in front if him playing with some kids toys he grabbed from his room, medic and sniper were cuddling on the other sofa as they watched the tv and spy was sitting in his single sofa as he was also watching the tv while drinking his posh wine.
it was quiet in the red room with the only noises being the tv and a page being flipped until scout speaks up out of the blue
"hey umm...are we a family?" scout asks as he looks up at mainly heavy
"...what do you mean, scout?" spy replies after a pause as he had a little head tilt
"i mean, do you all see this team as a second family?" scout asks giving more context and the others look around at each other "because i was reading this comic about a superhero team and they say at the end of the comic that they saw each other as a second family so, i was wondering if we are the same" he adds curiously with a head tilt
"...heavy thinks so, i have my mom and sisters in russia but i see all of you as family too" heavy says happily and the other start to think
"yeah, mate, i also see us all as a family as we know each other like we grown up together" sniper says happily and the other agree with him
"ok, cool, so follow up question, who do you guys think is the team's mom?" scout says happily then asks curiously as he knew the answer but wanted to check if everyone thought the same
"oh, definitely engineer" demoman says happily with pyro mumbling engineer too
"i agree with demoman and pyro, it's engineer" medic says happily after pyro's mumble
"i say engineer too" sniper says happily as he smiles at medic
"i also say its engineer" spy says calmly yet smirking after sniper
"da, i agree with everyone and says it's engineer, he acts like good mother figure to us, mainly to you and pyro" heavy says smiling a little and scout nods smirking
"yeah, yeah, i thought so too, i just wanted to check if you all felt the same" scout says happily and he sees everyone smile at each other "ok, here a tougher question, who's the team dad?" he asks wondering as he didn't really know
"um...i have a idea but i don't know if anyone will agree with me" demo says after thinking and everyone looks at him curiously "i have to say soldier" he adds and the other didn't react the way like he expected them too
"i have to agree, i remember zat one night where we fell asleep in here after a long day and soldier took us all to bed when he didn't need to" spy says remembering that time a few weeks ago
"oh yeah...i always wondered how i ended up in my room when i remembered falling asleep on the sofa" scout says now knowing that mystery
"i also agree, soldier may not act like it half the time but he is very caring towards the team and is also very dad like when it comes to pyro and scout" medic says and sniper nods next to him
"even when he strangles my neck?" scout says worried as he puts his hand on his neck
"that's just his way of showing big emotions, mate and you know engineer always calms him down when it happens" sniper says calmly as he points to scout and scout huffs a sigh
"yeah...and i have to agree with demo and spy, he does sometimes refer to me as 'son' and he with hard hat did care about me when i got serverly hurt that one time in dustbowl" scout says calmly qns everyone nods as they can remember "so, are we all agreeing that soldier is the team dad?" he asks confirming everyone's answer
everyone all looks at each other and then they all nod happily with some yes too
"good, great, we now know that hard hat is the team mom and soldier is the team dad...hey, as a harmless joke, do you all wanna call them 'mom' and 'dad' just to see their reaction?" scout says as he came up with a cool joke
"...aye, sure, why not, it will just confuse them and they will probably find it amusing" demoman says happily and he takes a swig of his beer
"okay, mate" sniper says happily and he chuckles a little
"oh, this is going to be amusing" medic says with a mischievous grin
"i will also join in on this prank" heavy says happily and scout chuckles at heavy deadpan voice yet he was smiling
"okay, i will participate too" spy says looking amused by the idea as it was harmless at the end of the day
"great, we all start it tomorrow and we can do all day, just make sure to not do it too much, okay" scout says happily with a little caution
the other nod happily and they all were all smiling at each other kinda excited to do this prank, meanwhile in engineer's workshop and engineer was fixing something at his desk while soldier was next to him, soldier had drifted off to sleep with his head on his crossed arms, engineer smiles at he glances over at him as he knew soldier would fall asleep eventually as he knew soldier was a lot more tired then he let on, engineer leans towards soldier and he gives him a kiss on the side of his head which made him smile in his sleep, engineer then realises after the kiss how tired he was so he picks up soldier who was r that heavy due to him carrying sentries heavier then soldier and he takes himself and soldier to their bedroom which was connect to the workshop, he drops soldier onto the bed and takes off his shoes before undressing himself leaving on his boxers and vest, he then gets into the double bed where he snuggled up to soldier taking in soldier's scent before his tiredness takes over him and he falls asleep hugging soldier like his life depended on it.
the next morning and soldier was the first one up out the pair as he opens his eyes looking at the right wall, he guessed that he was taken to bed by engineer who was still fast asleep as he was cuddling into soldier's chest, soldier smiles seeing how cute engineer looked when he was sleeping and he kisses him on the head affectionly, he then gets up after handing engineer his pillow to hug as he was still asleep and he leaves the room after he looks at engineer again who was sleeping comfortably, he would like to keep sleeping longer but he has a routine to keep, soldier ends up going outside and he was doing his daily excises to make himself more awake for the day, while he was doing his excises, he sees scout having a run around the courtyard looking lost in thought until he spots soldier and smiles at him as he runs over to him
"hey dad!" scout says happily as he ran past with a little wave
soldier gives a little wave back then goes back to what he was doing until he realised what scour called him, soldier looks up at scout confused but seeing scout had already ran away somewhere
'me? dad?...what?' soldier thought as he looks down to think
soldier then shakes his head thinking he had heard things and he went back to doing his excises, after what felt like a whole day when it had only been an hour, soldier felt tired so he decides to go in to see if breakfast was cooked yet, meanwhile with engineer and he had just woken up after feeling soldier was gone from his spot, he gets half dressed as he won't put on all his clothes until he had a shower and he goes to the kitchen where he sees scout, pyro and spy already there
"oh! hey mom!" scout says happily with a little wave and then he giggles quietly looking at pyro
'hey mom!' pyro mumbles happily and he giggles with scout
"hi y'all!" engineer says half tired but he still heard the new nickname scout called him "so, you think i'm the 'mom', huh? well, i can accept it" he adds happily as he goes over to the coffee machine
scout and pyro smile at each other happily hearing that engineer was happy to accept the nickname then look at engineer again
"so, mom, are you cooking breakfast today or is it someone else?" scout asks as he wasn't sure who was making breakfast
"umm...let me check" engineer replies as he takes out a list from his trouser pocket "it's...heavy!" he says after checking the list and scout nods happily
"i wonder what he'll cook for us this morning?" scout asks as he looks at pyro confused
pyro looked confused too as he goes to think as after scout asked the question, heavy comes in looking serious
"chef heavy is here to cook!" heavy says sounding dramatic and scout, pyro, engineer and spy look at him a little stunned to see him
"umm, okay big guy, what are you going to cook for us this morning?" engineer says as he goes over to heavy and pet his back lightly
"heavy is going to cook simple breakfast, egg, bacon and sausages to be precise" heavy says still sounding serious and engineer, scout, pyro and spy smile a little
"ok, heavy, go ahead and we'll watch" engineer says happily and he uses his right hand to point to the kitchen counter
"okay, mom!" heavy says and he walks over to the counter
engineer stands there stunned hearing heavy call him 'mom' and both scout and pyro chuckle happily yet mischievously seeing engineer's face, suddenly the back door opens and it was soldier who looked sweaty and exhausted after his excises
"hey dad!" 'hi dad!' "hello dad!"  scout, pyro and heavy say at the same time to soldier and soldier looks at then a little stunned
"hey hun, did you have a good work out this morning?" engineer says as he goes over to soldier and looks up at him while leaning on his chest
"affirmative!" soldier says in his demanding voice but in a affectionate way as he looks at engineer lovingly
"good, good" engineer says calmly with a smirk "now, why don't you go off and take a shower and then, when you are clean and dressed, breakfast will be ready for you to have, we are having eggs, bacon and sausages, by the way" engineer explains calmly yet happily still leaning on soldier looking up at his boyfriend
"okay, engie!" soldier says happily and he watches as engineer smiles at him as he leans off him stepping aside for soldier to pass
soldier goes over to engineer and places a kiss on his forehead before he leaves the kitchen to go and get washed and dressed, engineer watches him leave and then he sits at the table with scout and pyro waiting for breakfast, thoughout the day even in battle, the 7 mercs would refer engineer as 'mom' and soldier as 'dad', the pair were confused by it at first with soldier being more confused then engineer but then soon got used to it, they were even surprised when spy called them mom or dad as they didn't think he would do it like the others were, at dinner and it was engineer's turn to cook which everyone was happy about as engineer was a great cook, everyone was waiting kinda inpatiently for the food and then engineer comes out of the kitchen with a trolly tray of food
"here is your food, boys!" engineer says happily and everyone cheers happily that the food was ready to eat
engineer goes around the table passing everyone their food and they all say 'thanks mom' when he places the plate in front of them which made him smirk
"this is great, mom!" scout says happily with his mouth full of food
"thanks son" engineer replies happily before he tucks into his food
the mercenaries ate their food happily and when they were done, they all scurried off to do their thing after putting their cutlery in the sink, scout sadly was the one to clean up the dirty cutlery and he was being stubborn about it
"i don't want to clean it up!" scout says annoyed as he crosses his arms and huffed
"come on, scout, you know it's your turn to do it, it was spy yesterday and it's soldier's turn tomorrow" engineer says calmly as he places his hand on scout's shoulder while soldier was standing next to him like a clingy puppy
"...why haven't you built a dishwasher in this base yet? it would be so much easier if we had a dishwasher" scout says annoyed still not moving from his spot while glancing at engineer
"because i haven't got time to build a dishwasher, son, now please, clean up" engineer says calmly but he was feeling a little annoyed that scout wasn't cleaning up yet
"yeah, son, listen to your mother and do the dishes!" soldier says annoyed as he roughly grabs scout by the shirt
"alright, alright! jeez!" scout says slightly scared as soldier lets him go
scout goes over to the sink and puts on the kitchen gloves before he starts scrubbing the dirty dishes with his dish sponge, engineer was looking at soldier curiously then he chuckles making soldier look at him confused
"what?" soldier says confused wondering why engineer was laughing
"solly, hun, did you hear what you just said?" engunner asks while smiling and he can sees soldier's rusty gears moving in his mind until he lights up as he realises
"oh! oh...haha" soldier says as he realises and he chuckles a little as he looks over at engineer "i guess with everyone calling you 'mom', it just stuck to my mind, you know" he adds and engineer nods understanding
"yeah, i get it" engineer says happily and he looks over at scout who was looking at them with the corner of his eye while still cleaning "do you wanna come with me to my workshop? we can chill there for a while before bed" he adds calmly and soldier lights up with a smile
"ok, engie!" soldier says happily and the pair leave scout to clean the cutlery
engineer and soldier go to the workshop and when they get there, engineer sits in his chair after he goes to his mini fridge to grab 2 beers while soldier go to his chair and watches engineer, engineer hands soldier a beer then sits in the chair next to soldier while soldier thanks him for the beer, the pair sat in comfortable silent for a while drinking their beers until engineer spoke up
"hey darlin'?" engineer says as he looks at soldier
"what?" soldier replies curiously wondering what engineer wanted
"...do you agree with the others that i'm the mom of the team?" engineer says after a little pause and it was more confusion in his voice then sadness
"umm...yes!" soldier says honestly after thinking about it "you are the most motherly father figure of the team and it's one of the many reasons i love you so much!" he adds happily with his goofy smile
"aww, thanks soldier!" engineer says happily and he leans over to soldier to kiss him on the lips which he happily accepts "but what about you? do you agree with the others that you are the dad of the team?" he asks as he leans back again after the kiss
"umm...i-uh, i guess so but i don't really know" soldier says clueless as he didn't really have a idea if he was the dad of the team like the others claim he is
"well, i think you are, you are so caring to the team, making sure they are okay, helping inprove the others if they think it's their fault, there was that one time you took everyone to bed when they all fell asleep in the rec room, even me and many other things, so yeah, i think you are derserving of the team dad spot" engineer explains as he goes over to soldier and cups soldier's head into his hands
"...i guess i am, aren't i?" soldier says calmly as he sweet smiles at engineer and engineer nods slowly at him confirming his question "does this mean we're a married couple with 7 kids now?" he asks curiously with a smile and engineer chuckles as he kisses soldier on the forehead
"it's more like 2 kids with scout and pyro while the others are our brothers which makes them scout and pyro's uncles" engineer says happily as he sits down again in his chair
"yay! i'm engie's husband!" soldier says happily as he cheers and he takes a swig from his beer bottle
engineer chuckles and he also takes a swig from his beer, the pair kept talking for a while till engineer started to feel tired and soldier takes him to bed by bridal carrying him to bed
"oh, are you taking us to the honeymoon suite as we are married now?" engineer jokes as he was still being carried by soldier and soldier chuckles happily
"yes, cupcake!" soldier says happily joining in with the joke and then he kicks open his and engineer's bedroom door
engineer was then placed on their bed and soldier goes off to the bathroom, engineer undressed himself until he was in his underwear and his vest then he gets back into bed waiting for soldier, soldier soon comes out of the bathroom in just his underwear and he jumps into the bed happily where he grab engineer and snuggled him happily
"my husband..." soldier mumbles happily as he snuggles engineer
"yeah, you're my husband too" engineer says happily and he kisses soldier
soldier kisses back and the pair have a long yet loving kiss until soldier pulled away, he then snuggled into engineer again now falling asleep and engineer smiles at soldier before he falls asleep too cuddling each other happily
The End