My captain

Avoiding

The quarter finals are in two days. We have some training to do and the pain in my chest got a bit better. It's still a clear red mark on my skin so I have to continue trying to hide it. It got a bit hard in the dressing room after training but nothing has been harder than pushing Leah away when I want go give in so bad. We kept our hands away from each other for a while now and I really want to have her again but I know that I can't.

This evening we are staying in my room again. I know that Leah will try to get me to having sex as soon as I come in bed with her. I want it. I want all the kisses and touches from her but I need to stay back now.
I lay down and just as I expected it, Leah immediately comes closer to me. Her hand is at my hips and she leans over my face slowly.

"You look pretty hot, you know." She says in a breathy voice. Before I can say anything about that, she already kisses my lips. I feel the hunger in her kisses. She slowly makes her way on top of me and holds down my wrist next to my head. I like this position and I would love to continue with this. I don't stop her right away. I at least want to kiss her. I move my other hand up at the back of her neck to run through her hair. Leah gives a bite to my lip and then goes lower with her kisses. She starts to softly suck at my neck. I let out a moan at that. I want her and it's my own fault that I can't have her now.

"I want you so much." Leah whispers. She bites into my neck.

"Fuck Leah." I don't want to say it but I can't stop myself. I need to stop this before it's going too far. Leah's lips on my skin make me forget about that. I enjoy this feeling so much and I need it. I wish I could just rip off her clothes right now and let her fuck me. She turns me on so bad and before this important game, I'd really like to let go of some tension.

Her knee is between my legs and I bite my lip to stop myself from moaning at that feeling. I feel her hand going down on my side. My fingers are tangled in her hair. She moves her hand into my shirt and as she is about to take it off, I have to stop her.

"No wait, let's stop here." I quickly say.

"Why?" She doesn't really stop and tries to get my shirt up again.

"We have the quarter finals coming up. We should focus on that." I just use that as an excuse. I see how disappointed she is and I feel bad for her.

"I can focus on that and still have sex with you. Please, I need you." She almost begs me. I slowly move my fingers through her hair while looking into her eyes.

"No Leah. I don't want to." I say more clear but I lie. Of course I want to.

"Why didn't you say that before we started this?" Leah asks. She still isn't going down from my body.

"I just want the kisses but not the sex." I say.

"Is it me? Is it my fault? I feel like you have pulled away from me the entire time in the last days. What did I do? Don't you find me attractive anymore?" She suddenly asks all these questions. Shit. That's how I make her feel? Just because I can't admit that she was right. She looks so worried and sad.

"No no, baby you did nothing wrong. I love you and for me you are the most attractive woman ever. I just want to focus on the sport a bit more but I don't push you away." I say. I don't want her to feel like I abandon her even though I kinda pushed her away.

"I feel like you do." She finally goes down from me.

"It wasn't my intention and I'm sorry if you felt like that." I say and roll to the side to kiss her cheek. I really don't want to annoy her or scare her away. For now she leaves it but she probably will try it again tomorrow.

The next day goes off well. Tomorrow is our quarter final game against Sweden. We did a last training today and everything went well. I tried to give Leah a bit more attention so she won't feel so bad when I have to keep more distance in the evening . I even go for a walk with her after training.