Untitled

Critic

We, as humans, spend a lot of time worrying about what others think of us. But in reality, we are usually our own biggest critic. So let me just say something:
I really hate the way my hair dries curly and frizzy; even though my friends tell me to wear it natural to school, i dont have enough confidence to. So i straighten it.
Im super insecure about how short i am, even though most of my friends are around the same height as me.
I cant decide if i feel too fat or too skinny. Usually its a 50/50 split where i feel both at the same time.
I wish i had blue or green or grey eyes, now brown.
I wish i had more full lips, i always get made fun of becuase they are so thin.
I wish i was more tan. even though i am italian, i am still so pale.
I think my smile is really weird. I used to love my teeth, but now i just feel like they are too big.
I wake up in the morning, and i can never pick an outfit. Why? I have cute clothes. But as i look in the mirror and over analyze, i find too many things wrong with how i look. I barely even feel confident in my own skin nowadays.
But why?
My friend Tyler is kind of an asshole, even though he can also be really nice. But he has this tendency to over sexualize everyone, and he never fails to make comments about how i have no ass or im too skinny. I laugh it off, but it makes me feel like shit.
But this doesn't make sense.
I am constantly comparing myself to other people. Are they thinner? does their outfit look better? Do they have a cuter laugh? Or a warmer smile?
But the fact is, i shouldnt have to compete with anyone. I am me, and thats enough. I cant be anyone else then me ever, so i should just embrace my flaws.
You know that one person that everyone thinks is a asshole tool? Thats my other friend, manny. I have known him since i was three, and there is something very interesting about him; he acts like two different people. There is the person that he is at school, the dick that makes slightly racist and homophobic comments (which i call him out for daily) and doesnt seem to care about anyone. But when he isnt in school, you realize that he is a kind person who doesnt descriminate and cares about people. I liked his TBH on instagram the other day, not knowing what to expect, but he suprised me. He said that i was gorgeous, kind, and that he loved me like a sister. This really proved two things for me: people are not always the way they seem, and i should stop being so hard on myself. Sometimes you need to step back, accept your flaws and learn to love them.
Even though my hair can be a pain, I constantly get compliments on how pretty it is and i love how full and volumed it is.
I don't mind being short; its not like im a midget (im 5'3"), it makes hugging boys more pleasant and i can wear heels without being freakishly tall.
My body is fine the way it is. It might be hard to shop for sometimes since i have practicly no boobs (sorry not sorry), but i am happy with the way it looks.
I think my eyes are really gorgeous, especially up close when you can see the specks of yellow and gold.
I dont mind having small lips, they fit well with my face. My nose is small too, its just natural.
I dont mind my skin. It might be a bit pale, but its not too bad, and i can tan without buring (i do get freckles on my cheeks but they are fine) and i dont really get pimples.
I think my smile has good qualities. My teeth are pretty straight and i have little dimples on my cheeks that i like.
This summer, i am going to put on my adorable aerie bikini and crop top, and be thankful for my hips and my legs, and all the rest of my body. I am not going to let my insecurities hold me back, becuase i know that i am my biggest critic. And if i stop caring about every little thing i cant change, maybe i will feel better in my own skin.