Untitled

Invincible

So I wanted to write this entry because I really have had an important realization recently. It wont be a long entry, but it's important.
I always see stories on the news and just hear in my daily life about people who die young, and I always think to myself how tragic it is, but it never resonates with me because I've never had a brush with death or had many people around me die.
I think as humans, as complex beings with a million thoughts and impulses and abilities, we have an inflated sense of personal strength in our own minds. As a person that has been building and building and growing and learning and improving and planning for almost 16 years, I think sometimes I disregard the fact that I am going to die. Sure, as a person who has at least one existential crisis a week I know I will die, but i always think about it as something far off in the very distant future. But the reality is, life is incredibly unpredictable and as much as it terrifies me to say it, I could literally die any minute. The human body, although capable of many incredible things, is, in the grand scheme of things, very weak and not built for ultimate survival in this harsh world. If i wanted to die, I genuinely could. Right this very minute. There are many ways that I could completely end my life right now, and I would never come back. Of course, no matter how brutal my mind can be on me, I don't have a desire to die. In the slightest. Sometimes I feel empty. But then I have a conversation with an old friend, or I make a plan for the future. Or i do something well.
But that's beside the point.
Death is like a black hole in a big room with everyone. As we live, we edge closer and closer, not by choice, it is simply an inevitability. There are random forces that shove people in way before they arrive there on their own, and some people chose to enter on their own accord. The point is, we are not invincible. That black hole will always be there, waiting.
Now before I get too deep into this depressing imagery, I want to say that it is okay. It is natural. And we can either scream and shout about it, or we can walk along side the knowledge and enjoy every step we take. Not because we are closer, but because it feels good to take those step. Life is full of incredible, mind blowing experiences. We are all so fucking lucky to be here, no matter how much it might suck sometimes.
I digress, my main point of this entry is to say that I accept that I am not invincible. And to all the people in my life, you will probably never read this (some of you might/will), I feel really lucky to have stumbled into whatever situation that led to me meeting you. It is pretty cool that in all the time with all the people and things that exist on earth, that we met and made impacts on each other's lives. That impact is invincible.