Untitled

express

So for the past year, I've fell in love with art. Drawing, painting, photography, poetry. I love writing and taking pictures and making art more than anything else in the entire world. It makes me happier than anything else has. But every day, I wonder if I actually am an artist.
People who do illustration are the people i look up to the most. Creativity overflows from them and they can express it in incredible ways. Illustrators have different styles, each one different and exclusive to their imagination. The issue with me is, I don't draw from my imagination, i draw from observation. I focus on a subject and draw (somewhat) realistically. My pieces usually aren't stylized, and they don't come from any depth of my mind. I draw what I see, and when i work hard enough, i draw it well. But it kills my spirit when i sit down and try to draw something from my imagination and I just come up blank. Or when i look at an artist who can create a portrait out of curved lines. Or when i see a beautifully drawn scene straight from somebody's brain. Because I haven't been able to do that. And it makes me wonder if i can actually be successful with a career in art. It makes me rethink everything i once thought about myself as an artist.
When i was in drawing class, i drew year round, and I always felt my creativity flowing. Everything felt correct, or at least closer to being. Maybe now that it is summertime, and I'm not focused on art, I'm just blocked. I hope that is it. I just feel so in my element when I'm creating a piece, so at ease and devoid of stress. I never want to lose that and I'm scared I will. I'm scared that I'm not good enough to be an artist. I'm scared that I'm won't be able to develop my style and do well in my own way. I'm scared my plan won't work.