Untitled

Fall

So right now i feel like crap so i just need to vent, even though I have actually responsibilities and things i need and want to do tonight, but time is slipping away from me yet again because I am being unproductive and shitty as usual. I'm self-destructive, i'm a horrible procrastinator, i'm annoyed by everything and I feel like everyone hates me because i'm an ugly annoying fat disgusting mess of a person. I don't know why this is how I feel right now, it just is. And i feel like shit even writing it because then it seems like I am feeling sorry for myself which I guess I am. So yay me.
I don't know, I had homecoming last night and It was fun but also kinda sad because my girlfriend lives in new york and she couldn't be there and a ton of couples were there and it just made me sad, and comparison sucks because I look at every other girl and automatically think they look so good so I must look so bad, and I hate feeling like that so much. I know comparison kills the soul and all fun and happiness, but I can't help it. nobody can help it. It's just natural. So here I am feeling like shit avoiding doing my homework and getting frustrated with everything even though I shouldn't be because things are okay. But here is me being healthy. I am a human being, i'm entitled to my emotions. I'm going to do some healthy things, like finishing my homework and maybe going for a walk even thought it's dark out, i feel like I just need to clear my head. So hopefully I'll be able to do that.