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the end of the world

between spending the last week and a half reading about it and the last hour and a half watching a movie about it, it seemed unavoidable that i would have this breakdown.
I've been thinking a lot about the end of the world. The book i just finished talked about the question of whether you would save the world from its destruction if you had the chance to. and it forced me to think about this question a lot.
I would love to say absolutely 100%. i would save the world if i had the chance. because that is what most people would say. there is such a multitude of love and beauty on this earth and it would be a damn shame to see it all wiped out in a matter of minutes. all that we have built, the mistakes that we have made, the lives lived and passed and the progress and the achievements and the pain and the work, thousands of years, gone. billions of lives, stories, moments, completely and totally wiped out. never to be known of or speculated about again.
But here is the funny thing about the end of the world: we all might want to think about it as it if is some catastrophic and too big to be true event that we all think about as a hypothetical, but that is not reality. the reality is that life as we know it, compared to the grand size and depth of the universe itself, is tiny and inconsequential. if a huge asteroid hit the earth and killed every living being on the planet, it would just be us. gone. imagine looking at it happen from another planet. from lets say, jupiter. (if you could actually stand on jupiter and look at events happening on earth, you know what i mean.) all you would see would be a huge rock hit another huge rock. you would see an explosion. you would see the nature of the universe, science, something unavoidable but in the end, since so far away from you, insignificant. and that would be the way the rest of the universe would see our end of the world.
Time is made up. languages are made up, governent, theories, lives, memoires, are all created by the human brain. these words are being created by the human brain. if another being from another galaxy (yes i am stipulating to the fact that aliens exist) saw these words, they would mean absolutely nothing to it/them. and yet we carry a sea of a emotion when it comes to words. we cry in reaction to books, letters, speeches, songs. and we create it all too. we ourselves create a state of concious living that makes sense to us, and that holds living. but it is truly and utterly insignificant to anything else in the place we exist called the universe.
So if the world ended, would our lives ultimately mean anything to the existence of the universe? no. the inventions: technology, medication, everything we have discovered and known to be true would be absolutely gone. who even knows what would happen. New life may appear to take our place. grow completely different than we did in the next billion years. or maybe nothing else would happen to our planet. we would simply be another rock in the solar system unable to sustain life, hanging out in the milky way among the others. an infertil galaxy.
On another hand, if the world ended, would our lives be significant to eachother and ourselves? depends on who you ask. the simple thought of everything being so insignificant and wiped out immediately might cause one to say no. but there might also be reasons to say that we are significant to ourselves and others. There is a beautiful science behind the brain. we create our own emotions. we form relationships, build intelligence and a bank of memories. and we live inside our bodies until they fade away as they must. and our energy remains, lighting up the soul of the planet and charging the world to soldier on and build and create and love. and we know that we must move on eventually, but we spend a lot of time thinking about that eventually, when i think it is pointless to think about eventually. all we have in this world, geniunly, all we have is the moment that we are in. i have now. now i have another now. and 62,329 seconds past midnight tonight, i will have now. and so will everyone in the world. it is what you choose to do with all of your nows that will build your significance. But it is significant to you, and only you, and that is very important to think about. we may connect with other humans, build trust and relationships and commonalities and love, but we will always be the most significant to ourselves. And that is, i think, the true meaning of life. To make every moment significant to you. not to anyone else in your family, friend group, school, town, country or in the world. you are the center of your own significance. and even though we build ourselves up to simply be wiped away, we can feel such amazing things while we do it.
So would i save the world if i knew it was going to end? I'm not 100% sure. Because the moment i think yes, i always will have a reason to think no. but i don't hold the world in my hands. and the most i can do right now, and forever, is live in the way that will be most significant to me. i will love the energy i release into the world, now and when i am forever erased from the memory of the world.