Untitled

Lost

Hellooooo :)
So i figured i should write something about this before the summer ends and i'm thrown back into the whirlwind of schoolwork and classes that will come with being a sophomore in high school. I want to talk about music.
Specificly, my high school show choir, but music in general.
As a kid growing up, the one thing I always loved to do was preform. Me and my friends made little youtube skits and laughed at ourselfs and eachother, it was super fun. But what i loved doing more then anything else was singing. I would sing 24/7, with my sister, and with my friends. I always told myself I would be a famous singer one day when I was younger. I think me and my friends started 4 bands over the span of my childhood, which was hilarious. Good times.
So, when i was 10 or 11, me and my sister both tried out for our fair's talent show. Our fair is a huge agricultural fair, it is always one of the highlights of our year. However, neither of us made the talent show. My sister was devistated, but I took it as an opportunity to grow and learn from it. In 2013, me and my friend Abbi tried out singing a duet, and we got in! It was really cool to sing in front of so many people, but also very nerve racking. That year, we also watched the high schoolers in show choir preform. I knew, when i watched them, i wanted to be a part of the group the next year as a freshman. So, come time of auditions, me and my 3 friends all tried out. I still remember that day as if it was yesterday. Me and my friends were the music and drama nerds of middle school, and we owned it (even though i was stage crew.) We were loud and proud, and we were confident in our abilities. We rode up on the big yellow bus to the high school after school that day, shaking in our boots a bit. We were only 13 years old, so auditioning next to 16 and 17 year olds was a bit much. We got to the music room and sat in the back all together. Our music teacher handed out music to a song from Newsies, and we learned it together. Then we learned a little dance (1920's style). We split up into groups of three and went to practice. Me and my two friends decided, if we were going to make an impression, we should make a harmony to the song. All the highschoolers came and asked to hear us sing, and they were all impressed. Come time to audition, we went in, did our thing, and left.
Later that night, I got a call from an unfamiliar number. I was greated by the voice of a girl, asking me to come after school to the highschool the next day to do a second audition because i had made it past the first round of cuts. I later found out all my friends had also got the call. Needless to say, we were very happy.
The next day, we showed up again at the highschool music room, exited to audition for a second time with a smaller group. We recived another sheet of music, another song from Newsies (Seize the Day). We practiced the song a couple times, and after a couple times, my music teacher announced, "alright, everybody stand on your chairs, we are going to sing it one more time!"
So everyone got up and stood on their chair. We were about halfway through the slow and powerful melody, when two senior boys popped through the door and blew confetti cannons. I was surprised I didn't fall off my chair, but i was ecstatic. We had made show choir!!
So after that, we got our t-shirts, played some introduction games, and said goodbye to the seniors leaving. Me and my friends were officialy in Show choir.
So, during my freshman year, I didn't do any sports. I did a bunch of clubs, and show choir was by far my favorite thing I did. Whenever I was having a bad day, rehersal would always end it on a good note. Everyone was so kind and accepting, and i got to sing all the time. I remember our first preformance, at our town fair on the main stage. I remember that i was very nervous, and I felt so silly doing the weird dances and singing the weird songs that we did. All the seniors and juniors seemed to get something the Freshman didn't, just laughing when we got coy about doing something. I understand why now.
I remember when the show choir had a christmas party, and we had to do this thing called nice things, where for each member of the show choir, we wrote down something good and sweet and motivational about them, then put them in envolopes to take home. I really stuggled with this, because since I was new to the school, i only knew a couple of people. I finished my nice things, but they weren't fantastic. Then I recived my envolope. The notes inside brought me to tears. Even the people who didn't know me that well seem to know just how to make me smile. I left that party happy.
I still have the envolope in my room.
I remember our second performance, a concert during the winter for parents, friends, and other family. A lot of people showed up. We were backstage, all changing together (because thats how we do) and I remember right before we went on stage, this girl i was friendly with came up to me and gave me a great big hug. She said, "Don't be nervous. I am so proud of you, you are so talented. Good luck." This was so sweet.
Thank you Emily.
That night on stage felt so right and amazing. It felt so good to be a part of such a talented group.
I remember when we went to Virginia Beach as a music department. The late nights, the singing, the fun, it was the best trip. I had the best time with everyone.
I remember our last performance, a Junior production of the Little Mermaid. I was one of Ursala's tentacles, along with my two friends. And a chef. And a fish. It was so much fun. I remember the senior who played Ursala, her name was Chloe. A lot of people didn't like her because she was very standoffish and could be pretty rude. She was like this to me as well, but when we were backstage before the show, she came up to me and my two friends (the other tentacles) and insisted we got a picture together. It came out really crappy, but it's the thought that counts.
Thanks Chloe.
I remember signing up for auditions, and my friends signing up. We were so damn exited to try out again.
The day of the auditions, we show up, a little nervous but a lot exited. We learned our song and our dance, split up in groups to practice and then auditioned. I didn't feel the same way I did the year before; i knew what i was getting myself into. I felt confident in my ability, but deep down I was still nervous. That was a friday.
That saturday, I had one of my friends over to hang out, so we hung out all day. We were watching movies in my basement when my cellphone rang. It wad an unfamiliar number. I picked up, and it was my music teacher.
"Hi Mrs. Larsen!"
"Hi Sarah. I wanted to tell you this now instead of you finding out on monday, and I'm very sorry to say this, but you didn't make show choir...... Blah blah blah."
I heard her talking, but all I could focas on was the sinking feeling in my chest. I was out. I got cut.
I found out soon after that the main reason that I, along with 6 other girls got cut from the group, was since a large amount of the graduating seniors were boys, the group had to cut down so they would have enough boys to match the number of girls. The group went from 36 members to 24, and I was one of the unfortunates to not make it back in.
Yeah, it was sort of comforting knowing I hadn't been cut because of a lack of talent, but it didn't really matter to me. I felt devistated. Not only was I losing the chance to sing every day, I was being cut from a group of people that I had become friends with. That I had sang and stuck with for an entire year and become close to. Now that was over. And most of all, I felt so lost. Show choir was my main activity, my main focas, and i was so dedicated to it. I loved the group with all my heart. And now, what was I going to do?
One of the most important lessons I learned from show choir was to stop being embarrassed. At the beginning of my year, I was embarrassed to sing a hippie melody on stage with 35 other people. Halfway through the year, I felt only a tiny bit insecure fake-making out with a boy on stage in front of 300 judgey middle schoolers. At the end of the year, I felt totally comfortable stepping out on stage in a full black, skin tight morph suit as one of Ursala's tentacles in front of an auditorium filled with people. Show choir made me comfortable witn being dramatic, over the top, an completly myself.
I did make the acapella group with my two other friends, and I am exited about that. But I am going to miss show choir with all my heart. Hopefully, my junior year, I will be back in show choir and singing silly songs with people I love again.
Thank you Show Choir, I love you so much.