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So I used to write in here when I felt like something was bothering me; whether it was something i could easily identify and fix or something i couldn't pin down, or both. and it always helped me sort out everything, because when I let all of these issues swirl around in my head, they grow bigger and bigger, even though they don't have to. So I miss sorting things out like I used to, and that is exactly what I am going to do tonight.
I've just simply been feeling not like myself lately. My self-esteem isn't great, I'm stressed about school and work, and I find it harder and harder to wake up for school. Now that all the concerts I was looking forward to are over, It's kind of a matter of finding my footing and setting goals for what I want to accomplish in the next month before christmas break. So in order to do that, I wanted to write about all the things that are stressing me out, and hopefully getting it all out will help me be able to cope with it better.
So last night, I went to the Troye Sivan concert in NYC, which was great, but the best part was meeting my girlfriend for the first time. We've been dating for almost 2 months now, and it was so freaking great to see her. We stayed up on the balcony for the show where it was less crowed, danced to our favorite songs, and kissed during our song. It was both of our first real kisses, and I can honestly say that it was one of the best feelings in the world. To be that close to another person, one who I feel so strongly about, to feel her lips against mine was seriously amazing. Now that it's all over, she's back in New York and I'm back in Connecticut, and I already miss her like crazy. And i could tell she was feeling super sad today because she had to leave me and all of our friends, and it makes me sad that she is sad because i love seeing her happy so much. She is so amazing. And I sincerely hope that I see her again really soon because I don't think I can go so long without seeing her. So I guess i'm just stressed that she isn't answering me that much, but it's just because she is sad and i totally understand, and our two month is this sunday so that is so good and happy. I wish i could be with her in person, but ill take what I can get. I love you lane❤️
Next thing: school. I've missed some classes in the past week which means that I'm behind on a couple assignments, and I'm pretty stressed about it. The classes i'm behind in are pre-calc, spanish, AP language and composition and chemistry. So all i'm behind in for pre-calc is a couple calculations of angles for a project, but I'm waiting on my partner to actually send me what I need to do it. I already contacted her by text and email, but she hasn't answered yet so I'll just have to wait until she does. For spanish, I have to make up a test, which should be easy, and I have a bunch of assignments to finish probably, so i'll have to talk to my teacher about that. But i'm gonna try not to worry about it that much. For chemistry, I'm behind on two assignments, one of which is almost done and one of which i missed today in class,
so ill have to go to my chem teacher tomorrow and get that so i can hand it in on friday when it is due. And for AP language and comp, i'm behind on one assignment, but I think I have it under control. The only issue is that I have to balance my time between work and homework, since I have a new job. It has been stressing me out so much, but honestly it's not a bad job, my boss and co-workers and super nice and it's pretty fun once you get into it. Also I make pretty good money and i'm actually getting on the payroll either this week or next week. So that is really good and allows me to have money to spend on my own.
So that was a nice rant, and as I suspected, I actually feel a lot better then before. I'm gonna go do one more thing that will make me feel good tonight, which is to put my clean clothes away. Until next time, I continue sorting.