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Pay attention

This is getting unhealthy. I really shouldn't stay up so late every night, but when i get inspired, i like to write. So here we gooo....
Update on my life? Sure.
I dont't really know when the last time i wrote was, i think it was on june 26th, because thats when the US legalized gay marriage. Yay!
Well damn! Its been a while.
So, my life: internet, friends, you know, the normal. But i wanted to talk about something weird that happened to me this past week, and if you are a girl, or a boy, its important to hear. So pay attention.
I went for a 4th of July weekend with my friend to her cottage on the beach, which was beautiful, of course. Just a weekend of games, beaches, boats, food, fun and fireworks.
Since we were on the shore, the firework show was awesome. The shore stretched in the shape of a half-circle, or a horseshoe almost, so there were fireworks everywhere you looked. It was pretty cool.
So naturally, i got some nice pictures of the beach and the fireworks, and i posted them on instagram after the weekend. And that night, late at night, my guy friend started texting me. Lets just say we have a complicated relationship. I think of him like a brother, ans he thinks of me like a sister, but, you know. He's a 15 year old guy, so.
He was texting me, and we started talking about relationships. Now let me just say for the record, i am not THAT girl.
You know? The one every guy wants and every girl wants to be? Yeah, no. Not me. (Im okay with that)
So, somehow, this certain guy friend of mine can get me to talk about pretty much anything and everything. So we were talking about our past relationships, and i said something about how i don't really date. He said that just hooking up is better then a real relationship, which i dont think i agree with. But i said something about how i would be better at doing that then being in a relationship. And this prompted him to ask me to be is friend with benefits.
This is so wrong on so many levels.
I asked my friends for advice, and they all told me no. I knew it wasnt a good idea, but deep down, i kind of wanted to.
Because i like him? No.
Because i find him attractive? Not really.
Because i am 14 going on 15, havnt had a first kiss, and kinda just want to get it over with? Yeah.
This is not something healthy.
Girls, listen up. You do not need a boy to validate you. You validate yourself. You can do anything you want with your life, and you don't need male attention to be pretty, or important, or loved. You should live for you. And that is what i am learning to do.