Untitled

Appreciative

I feel like crying but in a good way. Maybe?
Tonight was one of those nights where you dont know whether it was amazing or just sad. But the kind of sad where you dont know yours sad until 12 am in your bed. Dont get me wrong, tonight was good.
I went to my friends sweet 16, and you would imagine a sweet 16 as a big party right? Not this one. It was only about 15 people, in her backyard. We played volleyball and cardgames for a while, roasted marshmallows and laughed our asses off. But then we just cuddled together Beneath blankets, near the fire as it went out slowly, picking out the constalations in the sky while slow music played in the backround. It was cold, but not enough to want to move ever. Of course, after my friend sarina left, i was one of the only 2 freshman there, and xander, the other, was with his sophomore girlfriend. So me and my friend cuddled under blankets. We all sang along with Hannahs iphone as the fire crackled. At one point, i just stared up at the stars and thought about how small we are compared to the rest of the world. It made me feel kind of lost. It was a pretty helpless feeling, the invevitibility of everything in the world and its span of time. I know what your thinking. Sarah, your at a party. Stop being depressing.
What am I supposed to do about it? Im human. We feel.
And sometimes it sucks, but it happens anyway.
So now its 1am, and i dont want to be sad anymore. Im just going to read some fanfiction and smile. Because life is too short, and im appreciatative that i have a small spot in this big, big world.