Loona the Caretaker

Yoga Helps Make Everything Better

Playing some video games some more, Cody was waiting for some dinner to be ready, which was lasagna. Despite how good he was playing at his game, he still couldn't get his mind of that fucktard Belmont after encountering him at the cemetery. "A-ha! Finally!" Said Blitzo. "Cody, din din!"

"coming, Blitzo." Cody turned off his console so he can eat dinner at the table.

When the lasagna was placed in the center of the table, Loona made no hesitation in grabbing a big piece for herself and eat it in a beast-like fashion.

Yes, the female hellhound must have been starving if she was eating in a greedy manner this fast.

As she was munching down on a few bites of her lasagna, Loona noticed how her adopted brother was not really trying to eat his dinner, and looking distracted as he was poking it with his fork. "You ok?" She asked him

"I'm fine. I just don't feel very hungry right now." Cody admitted.

"Thinking about Belmont again?"

"Yeah." The kid admitted. "I'm trying to hard to forget about him and wish I had never met him in the first place."

"You and me both." Loona pointed. "It wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't have any friends." She then took a sip of her booze. "This vodka sucks." She admitted

"you're not going to get drunk, are you?" Asked Blitzo.

"believe it or not," said Loona, Looking at her adopted father, "ever since Cody came along, I haven't been drinking as much as I used to be."

"that's good." Said Cody

"Yeah, normally you love your booze, Loony." Said Blitzo.

"oh I do." said Loona. "But I've been careful not to get so drunk around Cody here."

"Why do you like alcohol so much?" Asked Cody curiously

"Well... honestly... I don't know." said Loona. "You wouldn't understand. You're just a kid. You're still too young to drink that stuff."

"I know that." Cody said. "But I hope Mr Belmont ends up in jail."

"If you ask me," said Loona, "he deserves worse than jail."

"I don't know if I should say he deserves to be down here." Cody said. "Because, it... doesn't look so much different than earth in a way."

"Ah, but there are places worse than the rings, kiddo." Said Blitzo. "For instance: there are sentencing from Lord Satan like being in a burning furnace forever, something like Hitler is endeavoring right now. Or being permanently frozen in the Hate ring or just wandering the icy snowy fields of it forever. Or even having one's penis or scrotum being stabbed many times with a white-hot knife-"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Cody exclaimed in shock and disgust. "Stop it! Stop it! You're gonna make me scream and throw up at the same time."

"Blitzo, can you be any more vulgar?" Said Loona. "Now you're just gonna make me not want kids someday, and lose my appetite."

"Sorry."

"Look, I wish there was a way to make Mr Belmont see that I am not the Antichrist. Some way to get him to leave me alone." The kid slightly looked away.

"I hate to break it to you," said Loona with a sigh, "but he doesn't seem like someone who can he persuaded so easily. Some people can't be reasoned with."

"You're telling me." Cody rolled his eyes. "I'm just glad people in my town still care about he and would still protect me."

"Yet again," said Blitzo, "they don't know about our existence. So we don't know for sure."

"Tommy, his wife, and his Legionnaire friends know about us, and they don't have a problem with us." Loona pointed.

"True." Cody chuckled. "Maybe they can protect me in case Mr Belmont has an army of evil followers against us."

"Well after dinner, do you know what you need?" Said Loona

"What's that, Loona?"

"Some yoga to calm the nerves."

"You do yoga?" Blitzo sounded surprised.

"Yeah, you have a problem with that, you moron?" The female hellhound began to sound threatening to him.

Blitzo made a gulp and said: "no! No! Of course not. I'm just a little surprised. Normally, I thought you would go out and strangle a bear to death or something. Or kick a baby in the air... again."

"Come on, I'm not choleric!" Loona said while gritting her teeth.

"Well, you have been known to act out." Blitzo mildly pointed

"Since when?" Loona showed her teeth again.

"three months ago, you mauled Moxxie after he accidentally ate one of your cookies."

"I told him specifically that those were for me." Loona defended herself

"Four months ago you threw Millie out the window after she called you a bitch." Blitzo continued on.

"Hey, she was asking for it." Loona continued to defend herself. "Nobody, and I mean nobody calls me that. Besides, she recovered from the hospital three weeks after she got stitches in her head."

"And who can forget what happened the day before you got Cody?" The imp concluded. "Kicking me in the groin."

"You kept on saying I needed to control my anger more, but I do, dumbass!" The female hellhound realized that she was starting to scare Cody again and sighed to control herself. "Sorry Cody. But anyway, I have been taking Yoga, believe it or not."

"Well you can have my mom join you. She does that all the time."

"Whatever, Blitzo. I can even invite Crystal and Serena for yoga." Loona said. "And since you said your mom does it, we can do it at her place."

"Not me. I never do that gay-ass yoga shit." Blitzo nodded his head.

"Whatever." Loona said before looking at the human boy. "What do you say, Cody? Wanna do that?"

"But Isn't that for girls?" Cody sounded a little confused.

"And for gay people." Blitzo added. He felt his head being clobbered by a potato Loona threw at him, knocking him on the floor.

"Shut up already." Looking back at her adopted brother again, she answered. "No, it's for everyone. And... it does help calm people down."

"Ok." Said Cody. "I don't know what it can help me with, but I'll give it a try."