Logan

166. I'll Be Fine

*Natalie's POV*

Everything, it's all too much right now.

I love Aeron so much more for his self-control, because right now I have none.

I feel sick, my hands are shaking. I dash for the nearest bathroom, managing to find a stall before it all comes back up. I wash my hands and clean up.

N: let me know when you make it home x

Aeron: will do, you get some rest ok love

N: I'll try

A: call if you need anything

I put my phone back into my pocket and make my way up the steps, I'm exhausted and am barely on the last step, and a pair of arms pulls me forward.

"Woah, are you okay?" Ember says, holding me steady.

I shake my head, "I think maybe, the stress of it all is starting to sink in."

"We can go back to the house, just wait here and I'll tell Uncle Tom we're going home."

Ember hands me the keys and walks down the hallway. I follow behind, but stop just short a few feet beside the door. Just in case he asks for me again. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I let go to voicemail. I check just in case who it might be.

Mom.

No doubt Craig called her after my talk with him, he wouldn't say anything about her. As if he's determined to not be wrong about anything.

I tuck my phone back in my pocket and I can hear snippets of conversation between Ember and my father.

"that was too much at one time!" I hear him saying.

"I'm sorry, but she kept asking us to tell her. I had to give her hints about something!" I hear Ember say to defend himself.

"And now you have her even more stressed out, did you know she gets sick when she gets too stressed? Until I come home she is your responsibility, got that?"

It's so strange to hear him so authoritarian. I can't say I like it, especially with it being directed at Ember. He's not yelling yet his voice carries.

"Do I make myself clear, son?"

I hear the room quiet and Ember's tone is quiet when he says "Yes, sir." I hear the sounds of the machines beeping and a light flashes above the door. I walk into the room.

"You are getting too worked up, you're setting off the alarms," I squeeze Thomas' hand, "You need to calm down, don't worry about me. Worry about feeling better and getting out of here on time." I look down at him, and he smiles, I look over at the vitals screen to see everything going back to steady.

"You know I don't like yelling," I say, "You should apologize to them, they came a long way to be with us."

I look over at Ember and Jax standing in surprise, a sign he doesn't like being questioned, that he's stern. I know he's stern, but he's never stern with me.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to raise my voice, I apologize," he says, looking over at his nephews.

Ember just nods and Jax looks at me then Thomas, "s'okay."

I look up at the time and it says 3:23 a.m. "Listen, if we're going to make visiting hours again we need to get home and go to bed. Roads are still slick and I'm pretty sure we're all collectively exhausted."

Thomas looks up, "Oh, I didn't realize how late it is, you-" he looks around, "You have my wallet. You kids should get breakfast when you wake up."

The three of us make noises of protests at the same time and he shushes us, "Come on guys, breakfast tomorrow, Trixies, I even made a reservation. I'm paying."

I nod, "Fine." I had ignored the $20 notification that Craig sent me earlier for breakfast. 'Something with vitamins in it' he said.

"I better get a receipt with my card information on it, do you hear me sweetie?" I smile, "Get whatever you want, chocolate chip pancakes, waffles, those scones you like, oh and get one of those cinnamon rolls, you know the ones that are just lathered in caramel."

I look at him in surprise. How did he know I like those?

I turn to Ember, "That means a breakfast platter with eight pieces of bacon for you," he smiles at me and I look back at Thomas.

"Are you sure, you'll be okay?" I say, as I tuck the card into my wallet. I'm worried, and I look at Jax and Ember, who are noticeably tired.

"I'll be fine, go home and get some rest." He holds out his hand for me to take and he kisses the back of it. "I'm fine, I promise."

I feel afraid to leave him here. I manage to move my legs and as I get to the door he speaks.

"Hey," I turn to look at him, and he seems so small. "I love you kiddo."

My heart drops into my stomach and I swallow my feelings, jagged and sharp, down my throat.

"I love you too," I close the door and inhale and exhale, and everything moves quickly until I lay my head on the couch back at Thomas's house.

I can't even think to try to lay my head in his bed, even for a night. Ember and Jax offer to sleep on the couch so I can sleep in the guest bedroom but I refuse. I just can't.