Logan

17. It Will Come Back

*a few weeks later*

"You sure this is a good idea Nat?" Scarlet sat down, handing me a bottle of water, the small venue filling up with more and more people by the second.

"I'm not here for your brother. I'm here for mine." She nodded, pulling her phone out of her pocket and looking away from me as she dialed a number. I was tuning everything out. Scarlet, the people milling around the small area. Even the words of the opening band as they introduced themselves.

If we're being totally honest, I blamed her, for the way everything had gone down. Why hadn't she just told me about her brother and Vic earlier? Before I gave myself to him.

Was Scarlet right though?

Probably. I hadn't seen Logan for weeks. Unless you counted when he was over at our house talking to Alex.

They'd only met there once though, and after I'd yelled at Alex to keep Logan away from me... he'd stopped coming over.

I hadn't even talked to him.

He'd tried, over and over again to contact me. Even after Alex had told him he needed to stop. Even after I'd begged Scarlet to tell him to leave me alone... he'd persisted.

And I was starting to miss him... starting to miss his gentle, reassuring touch.

His voice...

I actually hated myself for missing him...

"Hey." Alex appeared in front of the table, his right hand tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear, his left fidgeting with a dark blue guitar pick "You gonna be alright?" I bit my lip and nodded at him as he awkwardly hugged me and disappeared again, and I continued to quietly sit. Scarlet wasn't saying much, just occasionally commenting on the next job she'd landed with the same band from before...

My hands began to tremble as the opening band finished their short set.

Logan walked out first, his eyes scanning the crowd but luckily not seeming to find me. He smiled as someone whistled, mumbling a thank you under his breath as he carefully tuned his guitar "This first song... was written for..." He hesitated, taking a deep breath as he glanced over at Alex "A girl whose heart I shattered..." Logan trailed off as he played the first few notes, his eyes closing as the rest of the band joined in, and I shook my head at Alex when he caught my gaze "Don't ever lie to someone you love." The crowd grew quiet as he then began to sing, and I shakily stood up, ignoring Scarlet when she attempted to grab my shoulder. My legs felt like they were about to collapse underneath me... had Logan known that I was here?

Why else would he have said those things?

Don't ever lie to someone you love.

Did he really mean that? Or was he just pandering to the crowd, to make himself look better.
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I didn't even realize how long I'd been gone from the table, until I heard an all too familiar voice break through the people standing by the bar.

"Nat... can we talk?" My body immediately tensed up, and I slowly turned around to find Logan standing there, his hands shoved into his front pockets, his feet nervously shuffling around "Look, Scarlet messaged me that you were here."

"Is that why you did the whole..." I trailed off as he nodded, and I couldn't help the long sigh that escaped my lips "I don't know if I'm ready for this Logan." I moved to walk past him, biting my lip when he blocked my path "Please... I just want to go home."

"I... I miss you." His words were quiet. And I felt myself tearing up. I hated this, these comforting feelings. I didn't want to feel like this about him anymore...

"You... lied to me..." I felt my heart pounding in my chest as he stepped a little closer to me "I miss you too, but..." My words caught in my throat when his fingers reached out, like he hoped I would accept his hand "I can't do this Logan."

He stepped to the side, his shoulders slumped in defeat as I slid past him. I didn't stop, even when Scarlet called out.

I didn't stop when I saw Logan step outside the bar as I slowly drove away. I wanted to, more than anything I wanted to slam on the brakes and get out and run to him.

Because I missed the way he held me, the way he'd made me feel safe.

The way he'd accepted every little thing about me, but especially the parts I hated.

Safe...
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I felt like I couldn't breathe.

My hands were shaking so badly that I could barely manage to remove my shoes.

Every time my eyes closed, all I could see, and even feel, was Logan.

That first night he'd stayed with me, holding me against him until we both fell asleep.

Our first kiss. That morning when it had been pouring rain... and the way my fingers had trembled as I felt the damp skin at his waist...

"Hey... I know it's late but... I just... I need someone to bring me back to reality."

"What's wrong?" Alberto's voice was rough, and very tired sounding. I immediately felt terrible for waking him up "What happened Nat?" He repeated himself when it took me too long to answer, and I took in a shaky breath.

"I talked to him." It was all I managed to get out, before a dry sob overtook my body and I dropped my phone on the floor in front of my bed.