Logan

53. Breathing Again

*Damien POV*

After everything that happened yesterday, Scarlet and Jordana didn't stay long. Everyone had been overjoyed at the sight of a home cooked meal, and Jordana seemed especially emotional. After telling me about her uncle, she had avoided any eye contact with almost everyone. Betty talked to her a little, before Jordana almost started crying and made her quick exit.

Kellan reluctantly left Natalie's bedside to join us in the waiting room for soup, all while he was eating he kept an eye on the hallway with Betty. I hadn't noticed his charm with women until now, but it was not strange in his work. Betty's hair was in a loose bun, her tired eyes didn't match her facial expressions, but I noticed the fatigue in her steps.

"Betty, they have cots, you could lie down." I placed a blanket beside her, hoping she would take it.

She waved it off, "No, I want to stay up, just in case Natalie wakes up or something."

Alex's raw voice cut through the room's silence, "Doctors said she could wake up in a couple days, not at this moment mom. You should get some sleep." He set down his bowl and pulled up one of the blankets I had brought back from the house, "I know I will." AB hadn't said much since the shooting, but he sat still as Alex rested against his shoulder.

Micah had to go back to work, but said he would stop by after his shift. Logan had been released this morning, but he didn't say much after his words with Betty. He sat on the opposite seat to Kellan, and tried to eat his soup. I noticed him shuffle uncomfortably in his seat before setting the bowl down, getting up, and walking into the hallway. I followed him.

"Hey, what's up?" Logan turned quickly to look at me, but kept walking. We were halfway to the elevator when I pulled his arm, "Hey, talk to me."

Logan looked around and turned to the waiting area behind him, pulling me into it. His movements were quick, erratic, and he stood for a moment before snapping his fingers. "Everything in my body is saying, 'run' but I'm trying, Damien. I'm trying to be here for her, it's all for her, you know? But I feel like," his sigh was deep as he ran fingers through his hair, "I feel like I'm suffocating. Betty has barely said anything, she's just cried, like, seven times. Kellan, he hasn't said ANYTHING and neither has AB, Alex has been moody and defensive. I feel that air, it's stagnant, and I feel like I'm barely to the surface when it pulls me down. I can't take it anymore, I need to get out of here. I know she could wake up at any moment, but I don't want to be like this when she does." He let out a breath, steadying himself. "Does that make sense?"

I nodded, noticing the people around me just the same. "I know, dude. Believe me. How about we get a list together for Natalie and everyone else, and we just head to the store. Get out of the hospital for a while, and we do something helpful. Yeah?"

It was only three minutes of getting yes and no answers from everyone about what we needed, and a massive list from Betty, and we headed for the store. As soon as we were out of the hospital doors, Logan took a gigantic intake of breath and exhaled, feeling the relief. It made me cringe when we drove past the studio, with no one there, it looked like an abandoned building. Something about the charm of it had withered away, never to be adored the same way. Logan's fist clenched when he saw it, and he looked down at his feet until we were past the building.

"It's my fault."

"What?" I turned toward him, his cheeks were turning red and his eyes fighting back tears.

"I wish I'd never met Victoria. I think of all the pain she's caused us, all of the moments she's ruined, and I think of all the things she's said to Natalie, or the things Natalie has found out about... about me, and about Victoria... us, together."