Logan

56. Alone

*Natalie's POV*

It was the first few days of being at home, and I was slowly adjusting. I still felt a twinge of panic whenever I heard a siren, and I still couldn't quite catch my breath, but I was adjusting.

But I wasn't fine.

Even though I told everyone, "I'm fine."

I woke up on a Wednesday to the sound of Kellan's voice, "Hey sweets, wakey wakey." His soft but firm touch on my arm made me feel safe. My mom had gone back to work since she had missed too many, and she needed to bring in some income. I think part of her was glad to leave, but only because I noticed the way she looked at me, and my oxygen mask. I was a constant reminder of one of the worst days of her life.

"Alright, I've got some scrambled eggs, pancakes and a bit of syrup."

"You're awesome..." I sighed, spreading the syrup on the pancakes. I made sure to cut them in small pieces, I didn't want to choke. Kellan sat next to me, grabbing his plate from the tray.

"I figured I'd have breakfast in here with you, so it didn't feel weird. Do you need me to bring you anything else?" He moved to get up, but I put my hand out.

"I don't need anything, just sit here with your pancakes. I'll feel a lot better if we treat things like normal."

"Natalie..."

"I'm serious. I don't want there to be a big fuss over me all the time, I can't take it."

"Okay, you win." He pulled a pill bottle out of his pocket and took a swig of water after popping one of them in his mouth. "I'm taking care of myself too, so how about we treat that normal too?"

I nodded, "Sounds good to me."

We ate our breakfast in peace, occasionally talking about random subjects.

It was around noon when I felt tired, so I closed my eyes.

-

-

I was in the bathroom. I heard the 'pop' of the gunshots. I came out, and she shot me, again.

I woke up gasping for air, clutching the sheets, and coughing. I tried to grab my oxygen mask, but it fell on the floor. I tried to lean over, but my stitches restricted my movement.

I was panicking, I couldn't breathe. I tried to breathe, but I coughed, and then I couldn't breathe again. I quickly fumbled with the phone to call Logan, but all I could muster was "can't breathe! help!"

*Logan's POV*

I heard her coughing on the other end of the phone, I couldn't hear anything but the coughing, and the squeaks and wheezes of her chest.

I found myself running, faster than I'd ever run before, down the street, then onto the pavement, down the steps, through the door, her cough grew louder and louder in my head. I watched her gasping for air, and I stumbled onto the floor to grab the mask, then the turn of the knob, and I smushed the mask onto her face.

I heard her gasp lessen and lessen until she pulled it away from her face, "Logan," and I pushed it back onto her.

"Don't talk, just breathe. Good breaths, there. There we go slow, okay. Good." She was finally breathing steadily, but her shaking hand pulled at the top of her shirt like it was choking her.

"It hurts, Logan."

"We'll call the doctor," I said. She grabbed my hand, shaking her head.

"No, no doctors. Kellan left to go to the grocery store, and I don't want him to know. He's been killing himself trying to take care of me, and if we told him, he would never leave the house. Damien told me that he's been having panic attacks. Me getting... hurt, triggered some old feelings about Elle, and he said Kellan's been acting weird since. Just... breathe with me. I'll be fine in a minute."