Logan

46. Butterflies

*Natalie's POV*

I had heard Micah's screams in the fog of waking up, and I was going to get up until I heard Alex and Damien talking him down. I sat up for a little while longer, wondering if something I had said had triggered his attack.

How long had he been having attacks? Were they getting better or were they getting worse, like mine? Damien came back up the steps with more water about an hour later, and I asked him what was going on.

"He's been having a rough go of it since he's been on leave, he said he messed up a few times so they gave him a month off." Damien whispered.

"Is he going to be alright?" I asked.

"He's getting the help he needs, but he hasn't really wanted to talk much about it."

"I feel like this is my fault...I asked him about the accident." My heart raced in my chest, and I felt images of what I could remember of the accident roaring through my mind.

Damien shook his head, "It wasn't your fault Tali, he said this has been happening almost every other night. Go back to sleep, we've got it covered, alright?" He left me to my thoughts before closing the door on Alex's room.

I closed the door to my room and turned on my white christmas lights, the soft glow from them illuminating the floor. I thought about calling Scarlet but she was probably asleep...there was only one other person I could think to call.

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered. I was quiet for a moment, listening to his breathing, "Hello? Natalie? Are you there?" His words sobered for a moment, before a panicked voice answered again. "Natalie, are you alright? I'm coming over."

"No, no, it's okay. Sorry, I just-" I waited a moment before answering again, "It's hard to explain."

Logan was quiet for a moment before sighing, "Try me.."

I took a breath, and I tried to explain everything, but it all started getting to me. "I just," My voice quivered, my lip shaking, "I feel like everything's falling apart, and I'm trying to hold it all together, I'm just..."

"Hey," his voice was soothing to me, "Whoa, are you sure you don't want me to come over? I mean, we can talk about all of this in person."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that, Logan." I wanted him to come over more than anything, but now was not the time to let my guard down.

All it would take was for him to touch me, once, and I would fall apart completely.

I heard him sigh in the background, "How about...how about if we go to the mall tomorrow? I need to get some Christmas gifts."

"I don't need anything."

"We can talk about everything then, right now, you need to get some rest. Did you take your meds? You know if you don't you get..." The concern in his voice was getting to me, "I mean... I just... I care about you, okay? Will I be seeing you, around 10:00? The mall opens at 9:30 but I know you're going to be tired..."

"Sure..."

"Okay, are you sure you're going to be alright?" I shouldn't have called him, my chest was already aching with every caring word that passed his lips.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Goodnight, I love you."

His last three words were my breaking point, I hit the red button as fast as I could before I burst into tears completely.

-

-

-

*Logan's POV*