Logan

41. Progress

He was sitting in my room, on my bed.

Dinner was awkward, and once everyone finished eating, they divided like Moses and the parting of the sea. Scarlet and Jordana went back to her place, Kellan and Damien had crashed on the couch in the living room while watching tv, and Alex and AB made a hasty retreat to Alex's room. Logan asked to talk to me, and so we were here.

Fifteen minutes went by, but I'd said nothing. What could I say? 'hey Logan, how was your trip to Victoria's apartment? Did you have fun?' I was an idiot. I would sound like a crazy person. Finally Logan broke the silence.

"How are you feeling after...you know."

"I'm fine, it was almost a month ago. I had to be watched overnight, my hospital bills are through the roof, again, but everything is being taken care of." I snapped, creating a weird tension between us.

He just sat there, twiddling with a button on his jacket.

"How bad is the bruise? You should take off that makeup and let me see." I handed him a couple makeup wipes, and as he slowly wiped away some of it, and I noticed the purple hue of bruise on his face. It still looked swollen, and incredibly painful "Christ, Logan. I'll go get some ice." With that, I left the room, stomping downstairs and ignoring the stares from Damien and Kellan who were cuddled up on the couch.

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*Logan's POV*

What could I possibly say besides 'I'm sorry' and 'I messed up.' Would she ask if I slept with Victoria? Would she ask if I wanted a family? There were so many unasked questions between us.

I hadn't even thought of a family until Victoria told me she was pregnant, and at first I thought kids were ridiculous until I watched a few videos of girls telling their partner they were pregnant. Most guys were shocked, they jumped up and down, cried even.

I wasn't crying, I was in a panic. I was staying awake late at night wondering how I was going to pay for diapers, baby bassinets and wondering about hospital bills.

I was wondering how the hell I was going to tell Natalie, how I was going to stand the look on her face as I told her I was a father to someone's child that wasn't ours. The utter devastation upon her face when I told her the truth today was enough for me. I knew that if I messed up one more time, even just a little, it would be over. She would never trust me again.

I looked around her room and saw suspenders on the floor, a crumpled handkerchief, and on her nightstand was a note. Kellan's handwriting, from what bills I'd seen him sign at The Brass Kettle.

She was being taken care of, by someone else. Another man, or men, in this case.

I felt a twinge of jealousy, but I couldn't be jealous. I drove her to this. I wondered how many nights she had cried herself to sleep, or checked her phone for my calls or texts.

How did I deserve someone so virtuous, someone so caring that they'd do almost anything for anyone they cared about? I didn't. How I was going to win her trust back was something so foreign.

I looked up to see her come back in the room, and she held out her hand. I hastily placed the note in her hand and she slammed the ice down in it's place. Then bent my arm up to my face.

It stung, the cold against the screaming pain of my face, but I welcomed it. I thought about what I should say, but I could feel the tears coming down my face as I tried thinking of something to say. "I'm sorry, Natalie. I'm so terribly sorry." I looked up at her, but she couldn't meet my eyes.