Logan

6. I Just Want To Talk

A/N: so much love to LoveBooksandwizards for her help with this story (and especially this chapter!)

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It was Logan.

I didn't answer... I let it ring over and over again, until my answering system picked it up. He did leave a message, and my screen did flash his name one more time before I put my phone on silent and set it back down. I needed to shower... and then I was going to attempt to sleep. Beating myself up over yet another person that had chosen to lie to me wasn't worth it... it wasn't worth my sanity.
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*Logan's POV*

She wouldn't answer her damn phone. I'd called and called, leaving several messages and then finally giving up. I should have said something last night... I should have run after her.

Stupid. I was so fucking stupid.

Victoria was an old friend of Alex's, they'd met at a pride event years ago... she'd been at the gig and Alex had invited her over, to have drinks and to catch up. I'd known instantly that her and Natalie would get along, because she and Nat had so much in common. Music, movies, all but the taste in... partners "I can't believe I've been so stupid..."

Stupid... it had been so stupid of me not to speak up when I'd seen that look on Natalie's face. She had been so subtle with her feelings, but the exact second I'd connected with her eyes, I'd been able to read the devastation on her face.

I stood up from my bed and pulled my clothes off, jumping into the shower and cleaning myself up. I was going to go check on her... I didn't even bother properly combing through my hair, only ran my fingers through it quickly before grabbing a clean set of clothing from my dresser. At the last second I remembered to snag my jacket from the floor where it had been dropped last night.

The same jacket that she had helped me pick out...
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"I don't know man. She won't open her bedroom door, even for me." Alex shrugged from where he laid on the couch, his hand rubbing his tired eyes before he turned away from me and pulled the blanket back up to his chin. I shook my head at him, knowing he was regretting drinking so much last night at my house...

"Natalie?" No answer... "Natalie all I want to do is explain what happened last night..." I rested my forehead against the frame, listening intently for any response. And I still got nothing "Please... I just... want to talk." I then heard the most heartbreaking thing in the world... the quiet sound of her crying. And I knew I was the reason.

When I tried the doorknob and it actually opened, I felt my heartbeat quicken... I'd gone over and over in my head what I was going to say to her to try and fix everything.

But seeing her like this, it killed me. I'd heard girls cry before, sure, but I would have rather had my own heart torn away... than her having to experience one more second of this.

"Can we talk?" She rolled so she was facing away from me, shaking her head at the same time, and I sighed as I sat down on the small bench by her window "I planned out this entire conversation in my head on my way over here. But I can't remember one word of it. So I'm just going to talk." Her breathing steadied slightly, slowed down enough to where her entire form wasn't trembling anymore, and I shrugged my jacket off onto the floor "Do you remember that day when you were maybe 7 or 8? When your mom put your hair in pigtails... I saw you come down the stairs and you wouldn't even look at me..." I laughed, quietly, still keeping an eye on her as she shifted on top of the covers "You were so embarrassed... probably because your brother decided at that moment to pull on your hair and you fell and scraped your arm..." I trailed off when Natalie rolled back towards me, quiet tears still streaming down her face and falling onto her pillow "And then one day... years later, you come outside while Alex and I are sitting on the porch having a beer and it hits me. You're not just my sister's best friend anymore. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen..." I looked up at her, my hands fidgeting with each other as she seemed to be slowly drifting off, and I hoped she was still listening "But I thought I was so cool. Too cool, and too fucking stupid to realize what was right in front of me. I... I've always known it was you Natalie. You were... you are... everything to me."

I stand up, deciding that she needs to be alone, leaning down to pick my jacket up off the floor and I'm as quiet as possible as I slowly walk towards her door that is still, just barely, cracked open from when I entered earlier.

"Logan... don't leave." Natalie's voice is barely a whisper, and when I turn back towards her bed she has scooted over and is motioning for me to lay down next to her. I kick my shoes off, moving myself to the side of her bed, waiting for a nod of approval before I pull a blanket over her shoulders and climb in. No more words are said between the two of us, and she even moves her entire body against my side before completely falling asleep.