Logan

5. Dizzy

*Natalie's POV*

I sat at a table by myself at the extremely intimate venue, slowly nursing a Jack and Coke. Alex had insisted I come to their first show, even though I'd begged and pleaded with him not to make me. There were going to be so many people here... and without Scarlet, I'd be all by myself to deal with my anxiety issues.

"Help me carry in the rest of the stuff?" Logan's hand timidly touched my shoulder, bringing me out of my self reflective state, and I held back a shiver, nodding at him before downing the rest of my drink and slipping off the barstool "Look I know you don't really like big crowds... but thanks for coming tonight. It... it means a lot to me." He grunted as we set down the last amp that needed to be hooked up, wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his left hand "Hey can I talk to you after the show? Not here... back at my place..." his eyes darted around the room, like he was refusing to look directly at me.

"Guys. Doors open in 15 and you haven't even hooked up the power yet?!" Alex playfully punched Logan in the arm, and they both walked off before Logan could finish what he'd been saying to me. He only managed to lock eyes with me and give me a small shrug before the two of them disappeared around a corner. I walked back over to the bar, signaling to the person behind the counter that I needed some bottled waters to take to the stage for the band. My hand was shaking against my leg, and I shoved it into my jacket pocket in an effort to hide my nervousness. What did he want to talk about? Would he finally admit to what he'd said to me the other afternoon when he thought I was asleep?

"Thanks..." I just wanted to be home, with my guitar. It was so calming to play, to lose myself and forget about everything even if it was just for a few minutes "Hey can you get me a shot of Jack? I'm going to need it."
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In the flurry of activity during and after the show, I hadn't been able to get Logan's attention long enough to talk to him, so I found myself driving to his house, against my better judgment "Hey Logan..." I shook my head at myself. Practicing what I was going to say to him was not going to make it any less awkward...

I could hear voices coming from the den, laughter, and the occasional sound of a glass being set down on the coffee table. I hoped I could get Alex to let Logan and I have a private conversation...

There was a new girl sitting on the couch right next to Logan. She was wearing a black leather motorcycle jacket and skin tight dark red jeans... and she was beautiful. She was everything I wasn't... long blonde hair... bright green eyes, everything I had imagined Logan's girlfriend would look like.

I stopped just out of the view of anyone in the room, my heart racing in my chest at the scene playing out before me. She let out an exaggerated laugh as Logan waved his hand around, mimicking someone playing guitar, and her hand then came to rest on Logan's knee... and when he didn't pull away or stop her, even after he looked up and our eyes connected...

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, and I instantly looked away, turning down the hallway and stumbling towards the front door. I thought I heard Alex calling for me, but I didn't turn back, I left the front door open, running towards my car, my vision so blurry with tears that I could barely see where the ignition was.

I barely remembered getting home, but I somehow ended up in my bed, on top of the covers.

Why hadn't he said anything... why hadn't he pulled away from her, after everything he'd said to me that afternoon... had that all just been a joke? A dream? All I wanted to do was sleep, but I laid there until the sun came up, my eyes wide open. I'd stopped crying, now all I could manage was a dry sobbing noise...

I wanted to talk to Scarlet, but she was somewhere in Europe... and I didn't think she'd take too kindly to her brother breaking my heart... I didn't want her to worry about me and my problems anyways.

Alex had come home at some point, and I'd completely ignored him when he lightly knocked on my door asking if I was alright. He'd even tried to enter my room, but I had locked the door, and he'd let out a long sigh, finally giving up and going to his room down the hallway.

My phone rang loudly on the nightstand, snapping me out of my haze and when I looked at the screen to see who was calling, my hand began trembling as I tried to decide if I should answer it or not.