Logan

178. Struggling

*Natalie POV*

Ophelia's driving down the road when i blurt it out, "I slept with my boss."

We swerve a little as she turns toward me in shock, "What? Your boss? Natalie," she says, drawing out my name. I call it her 'mom voice,' and I try to think of what to say.

"It was before I knew he was my boss but then, we were in his car when you called, and-"

Ophelia just laughs, "You know this is a bad idea right? No good ever comes with sleeping with your boss."

"I don't plan on doing it again," I say, "I really like this job."

We're silent for a moment before she asks, "How was it?"

"He's so good with his hands," I say, "but I promise, no more sex, we both agreed to it."

Ophelia is quiet, and I hate when she gets like this. I know she's about to hit me with something I don't want to talk about.

"Okay, so, what about Desmond? How are things with him?"

There it is. I sigh, "I put some space between us for a few things. He said something at the hospital that rubbed me the wrong way. I know he wants to be together, but Logan's barely been gone for a few weeks. It feels too soon."

"So you're not talking, not making out in your dad's truck, just radio silence then?"

I nod, "Radio silence for now, I mean we did have a moment today, at the ceremony."

"A moment, like?"

"He was nervous, so I held his hand. I do admit, having intimate moments like hand holding, it's fulfilling for me. Not that making out isn't fun, but I miss those little things."

"Maybe you should say this to Desmond," she says, "You're having all of these different feelings, which is going to cause you to go out of control. I love you, but I really think you need to figure these things out before involving anyone else."

I nod, "I know."

Ophelia parks and we get out, making our way toward the store, "I feel a flare-up coming on," she sighs frustratingly, "I'm gonna need to get some stuff." I dig in my purse and hand her a hot-hand packet, "Oh you are a lifesaver. Okay, so where to first?"

"Sour candy, ice cream, maybe some gatorade, margarita mix, those little umbrella things you like, oh and ice."

We scan the aisles, putting things in the cart and then we turn the corner and the cart crashes into someone else's cart.

Before I look up, all I hear is, "Sorry-Oh hi, Natalie honey." I look up to see Babs, Desmond's grandmother. She's wearing a black coat and boots, and her hair is in a bun with a bandana around it. "Oh honey, I didn't expect to see you out in this nasty weather."

"Hey Babs," She steps forward and puts her arm around me and kisses my cheek. It was a 180 from what happened last week.

"How are you holding up, sweetie? " She asks, patting my back. Her touch is comforting, and I don't really know how to feel. "It must be hard, taking care of your father and going back to work so soon. He must be so proud of you."

Oh shit, I am going to cry in the store. All of this comfort and understanding feels too much, "I'm okay," I hear my voice waver.

"Honey, you don't have to just be okay, you put such a brave face on. You went through something really big, and I know you have plenty of people beside you." Tears are brimming down my face when she pulls me in for a bigger hug, "Oh sweetheart, I didn't mean to make you upset." She takes a tissue out of her pocket and dabs at my eyes.