Logan

158. My Sweet Rose

*26 years ago*

"Betty she's beautiful," I said, looking at this tiny baby, her smooth skin and fluffy dark hair showing she was mine.

"I'm just surprised I got here in time, I was late dropping Alex off at daycare," she sighed, looking up at me. Betty's eyes glowed despite the tired circles underneath, her usually perfect hair mussed against her face from sweating. But it didn't matter, she was beautiful.

I hated to ruin this moment. "How long, until-"

"A few hours." She laughed, "he's in a meeting" she said in a mocking tone, no doubt something Craig's assistant said to her.

A nurse walked in with a kodak camera around her neck, "Hey, how about a picture with mom and dad!"

"Oh, he's-" She trailed off, "Yes, that'd be alright."

Betty reached for me to lean in more, her body settling and her head on my chest. The nurse smiled, holding up the camera and with the flash, the moment was over. We both watched as the photo rolled out of the slot and the nurse shook the photo a few times before carefully handing it to me. The exposed image was slow coming into focus, but there it was.

Before I could say anything about it, she put her hand on the nurse, "Would you mind taking another one? He's a firefighter, and I want to make sure he has one for his helmet."

The nurse smiled, "We usually only allow one photo per family, but-why not?"

I smiled and the camera flashed, capturing our second moment as a family, the nurse went to hand it to Betty but she motioned for me to take it. Betty told the nurse she was thirsty so she made a quick exit and I looked down at it. We looked like a real couple, not like when she was in my bed.

"What made you ask for another one?" I said, questioning where this was going.

"Because," she sighed, "you are her father. Even if-well, no one can find out about it. Even though we're never going to be a family."

"You could always change your mind," I said, thinking back to when I presented her with a ring when she told me she was pregnant.

Betty shook her head, "Don't ruin the moment. Thomas, no I can't. My wishes are still very clear about this arrangement, about all of it. I don't want you to be reckless."

"You love me, Betty Carter," I said, kissing her forehead, then kissing Natalie's forehead, "You just won't admit it. You can't let yourself be happy? Even for a moment? You could come home with me."

Betty tensed, "I can't do that to Alex, you know Craig would take me to court."

I shrugged, "So, we can fight it. We can fight it together."

"Thomas." She pleaded.

I gripped her hand, "He has a room at my house. I have plenty of rooms at my house. For you, for him, for her." I kissed Betty, and for a moment she kissed me too until she pulled away. "No. Don't press it Thomas," Natalie started to stir and cry, and Betty moved to feed her, shushing her and speaking softly.

I didn't want this to end, I wanted my baby home with me. Not with him. But I knew, no matter how hard I tried she would keep me at arms length. Away. I could only hope she wouldn't keep me away from Natalie. I kissed her again, "Okay." I let myself enjoy this quiet moment, the warmth of her skin on mine, the soft touch of my daughter's hair, the sound of her sleeping breaths in my arms. I stayed there, just the two of us, talking and laughing, until the phone beside her rang and she ushered me out of the room.

I kissed my child on the forehead, "I'll see you soon, my sweet Rose." I held her tightly against me until he called again to say he was on his way up. My kiss on Betty's lips were slow, I wanted her to remember this as much as I did. The burning sting of regret lay heavy on my heart, and to walk away was the most difficult thing I'd ever done.

I scribbled some details on the photo once I was back home, and put it in a frame. As much as I wanted to put it in my helmet, I couldn't let anyone else find out. That's what she wanted, and I would do my best to keep the truth safe. But when would I be able to tell Natalie?