Logan

86. Let It Go, Logan

*Natalie POV*

I walked amongst the gravestones, careful not to disturb any or lose my footing. I came upon the Koughlin plots, taking a seat next to my grandma's grave.

"I messed everything up. I'm falling for Logan again, and I don't know what to do."

I sighed, sniffling and laying back. I looked up at the clouds, looking for answers.

My phone buzzed and I saw that it was a missed call.

Aeron.

I played the message, "I wish you could see this Natalie. London is beautiful, I've here for a month and a half, and it feels like I never left. But I did leave, I met you. I spent months losing myself in you, and I came home so suddenly. I never realised how much that must have hurt you, but I didn't do it on purpose. I... I thought you would be safe. I heard an earful from Canyon, so I know I hurt you. I wonder why you didn't tell me....I just wish you would be honest with me..."

My phone rang again and I answered. "Aeron."

"Natalie..."

"Did it mean anything to you?"

"You know it did. I just, I wish that you could be here, but I think it would kill you to leave."

"You're not wrong. I want to be happy, Aeron. We could've been really happy, you and I, but I'm here and you're there. I'm tired of crying over you, I'm tired of the missed messages. I want peace, and I can't do that right now. It's time to say goodbye."

Everything quieted behind the phone, and then I heard his quiet words, "Are you sure?"

I sniffled, "I'm sure. Goodbye, Aeron." I pushed the red 'end call' button as fast as I could, because I knew if I lingered, I might actually leave. I might run away from everything, but I couldn't do that.

I wasn't going to explore London with Aeron, I wanted this with Logan.

That part was burning clear into my mind. I let the tears fall down my cheeks, and I let myself uncoil in this graveyard, surrounded by family. When I finally caught my breath, the clouds were parting and the sun was returning.

I looked down at my phone to see 20 missed calls and 40 texts and messages asking me where I was and if I needed help.

I didn't need help, not anymore.

-

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When I returned to the hospital with food, Logan, Damien and Whitney were gone. Kellan sat against the pull-out couch and he sighed "You're back."

"I just... needed some air." I set the box down, putting my sweater over it to keep it warm. "Why does she hate me? Whitney..." I whispered, looking out the window.

"I don't think she hates you, I think she's jealous to be perfectly honest. She came here to get to know me, and here you are, the apple of my eye, Damien's eye, and well, even Logan's eye. You command a room, and it's pretty full in here already."

I scoffed, "I do not command a room, Kellan. I whisper in the room."

Kellan sighed standing up and walking toward me, "No doll, you're wicked smart, you've got a beautiful smile, the most kind heart I've ever seen in my almost 50 years on this earth. You're something special, to everyone. You just don't see it, because of the burdens you carry around with you." He reached out, putting his hands around my face. "You're the real deal, and I think that's what scares her."