The Sun and Her Moon- Remus Lupin

The ways of the heart

Time hates humans.

It hates the way we try to run from it— painting our faces to hide our wrinkles and covering its prescence in our hair with bottles that remenessce our youth. It hates the way we try to control it— linear calenders and planners, lists that scream nothing but the desire to control with endless tales of productivity.

But who time hated most of all?

To Remus Lupin the answer screamed and tornaoded in the back of his mind whenver he had a moment of silence— undistracted moments that turned his usualy organized and quiet mind into something even him in all his intelligence could not control.

Time hated the weak and time hated the sick most of all.

He was reminded of this as he sat next to his friends on what should have been a happy Saturday morning. The sky was blue, so blue it almost burnt his eyes looking outside the windows. The first tinge of spring was begining to paint the grounds and warm the frozen earth as the mounds of snow began to slowly melt. Students buzzed, they hummed, they laughed and gossiped with the leisure that only the weekend brought. Indulgence was the theme as from the corner of his eye he could spot Sirius pouring on mounds of syrup onto his already sugary cinnamon waffle.

Everything around him was picture perfect and despite being in a room of hundreds of fellow students whom he shared living spaces, classes and life with, he had never felt more alone. Most of the time, Remus felt like he fit in with his majority in their leisure, in their laughter, in their joy.

Though today— this beautiful Saturday morning that seemed to have blessing enriched in everyone elses timeline— the parchment paper he held between his fingers was more of a weight shattering his carefully constructed glass reality that was his life at Hogwarts.

"You coming to Hogsmead then right Moony?" James spoke, and if it wasn't for the way he nudged Remus in the ribs ever so slightly to get his attention the werewolf boy would have not heard, too lost in the maze of his own mind.

"Hm?" Remus muttered, trying to snap himself out the trance. "Oh Hogsmeads— Honestly not sure mate, figured I would stay back and get some homework done."

"BOO! BOO!" Sirius interjected, as the boy stood up with his thumbs down hollering down at his friend. "You do homework enough!  We need some good quality friend bonding time— for merlin sake James almost died the other day —

Sirius contunied on in the way only Sirius Black could. His loud, bold accusations and whining that usually ended in his friends agreeing with whatever it was the boy desired. Today though, Sirius's pantomimic like delusions were nothing but a background buzz to Remus's thoughts.

The distance on Remus Lupin's face would not have been evident to everyone. In physical form he was present, though his eyes focused no where in particular and a ghost could have walked through him and the boy would be no more aware then a deadman is of the weather.

When you spend a vast amount of time with someone, and you care for them in the type of way that only time and connection can bring, their little ancedontal feigns mean nothing when you see past the facade of joy and happiness.

Aveline Rosier sat across from Remus Lupin in a state of silence that was for a differnet reason then her werewolf friend. Her silence was tainted with observation, laced with the carefulness of a detective as she fought the urge to raise her eyebrow at the odd behaviour the boy was exhibiting. The details were minor, details that certaintly the average person would have missed, but Aveline was no average person to Remus.

She noticed the way the tension in his jaw never faded, even when Sirius spat his usual jokes that brought joy into his features. She noticed the way his eyes scanned the parchment letter he received quickly and eagerly before tucking it away under his napkin as if trying to pretend it did not exist. She noticed the way his left pinky finger never did stop tapping the table beneath it.