I'll keep you safe

Chapter 132

Rachel paused as she drove up to the gates of Waterloo Road. She pushed back the tears as her eyes fell on the memorial the students had put together just outside the gates. Thousands of flowers, hand-written goodbye messages, photos and teddy bears were scattered along the fence. Eddie had told her about the memorial and how the students had spent their time putting it together. It had filled her heart with pride knowing that they had all come together in their grief to do something in memory of a beloved student.

Her eyes wandered over to the many messages and photos. The guilt grew stronger as she read each message and saw every photo of Maxine smiling and having fun. The memorial was a reminder of her failure to protect Maxine. A student was dead because of her. Maxine was dead because of her.

The urge to reverse and drive away from the school, from Rochdale, from Eddie and all of her problems was overwhelming. Her heart filled with dread as she thought about the upcoming events of today. Facing the staff, Steph especially. The staff had warned her time and time again about Earl, and she had ignored them because she thought she knew better. They'd been right all along. And now Maxine was dead. Steph would never forgive her, Rachel knew that, and she didn't blame her one bit.

She had to face the students too. The thought of that made her feel sick. It had been her job to protect them, and she had failed them. Because of her, Maxine's life had ended before it had even begun. She would never take her A-level exams, never go to University. She'd never get married or have children if she wanted them. Maxine had lost her future, because her Head Teacher had failed to protect her. How would the students, staff and the LEA ever trust her again?

That was why she was resigning. She had made the decision the minute she had seen Maxine being carried out of Steph's house in a body bag. It was the right thing to do. She had failed as a Head Teacher. The school was better off with someone else in charge. Rachel didn't trust herself anymore, or her decisions. Her career in education was over. The journalist who had written that article about her had been right; she was a failure, a coward and a danger to the students.

Maybe it was for the best, to just leave now without a word and never come back. She could go abroad, live somewhere where no one knew her name or her past. She could start fresh.

No.

She had to clear up her mess. This was her fault after all. She refused to be a coward and run away from her problems. She owed it to Maxine. If she resigned now and tied up all the loose ends, then she could go. Running away now wouldn't fix anything. Maxine's death would follow her wherever she went, whatever she did. At least if she resigned and did things in the proper way, it would give her a little bit of closure.

She parked her car in her usual parking space. To say it was 7:15AM, the playground and car park were quiet. Usually there would be a few members of staff starting to arrive.

Rachel sat there, unclipping her seatbelt as she leaned her head against the window. She was tired, there was no denying that. Her head was pounding against her skull, and the nausea bubbled in her stomach. The pregnancy seemed to be draining all of her energy. Pregnancy was a magical experience, or so she'd been told in the past. But it also seemed to be physically and emotionally demanding too.

If she was honest, she still couldn't believe Eddie was by her side. How could he still love her after what had happened?

Even though his initial reaction to the pregnancy had been positive, Rachel had expected him to have changed his mind and to have upped and left her by now. After Maxine's death, which she had caused, it was what she deserved.

And yet, somehow, Eddie was still by her side, patient and loving as ever, even though she had shut him out and distanced herself. She wanted to let him in. She wanted to let him comfort her. But she couldn't. She didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve to be carrying his child either.