Light On (Alan Longmuir Fanfiction)

Chapter 44

- September 5th 1975 -

Y/N's POV

A new month was upon us again. Work was going well for me. And for the boys, their self-titled album was coming out this month. The boys put out Once Upon A Star back in May which went over well with the world. It was a random afternoon in September. The boys had done some work in the studio this morning.

"Why am I always nervous when the new albums come out?" Alan asked.

"I don't know my love but you should not be. I think the music you guys are putting out is so good," I said as I looked at him.

"Well, I know it is good because we would not be putting it out if it was not but," Alan said.

"But what?" I asked.

"I think he is not believing what is happening because of how long we have been working on the group," Derek said.

"This always has been my dream and all but the dream is kind of different now I am older," Alan said.

"How so?" I asked.

"I don't know I feel like being on the road is not going to be my taste. I want to have a more settled down life where I can just live each day knowing what is going to happen," Alan said.

"Well you do know what is going to be happening next," Derek said.

"Not really. We have shows and tours planned out sometimes but it is not always something we are guaranteed to be doing," Alan said.

"But isn't not knowing kind of part of the fun of being in a band?" I asked.

"I mean I guess it is but like sometimes it gets stressful," Alan said.

"But this is what you have always wanted," Derek said.

"I know that and we all know that. But the dream has become kind of hard to see," Alan said.

"But we are the midst of the height of it right now," Derek said.

All of the boys were off doing something besides Alan and Derek.

"I don't know maybe my mind will change again soon and I will be okay with it. But maybe if I went back to the job I know how to do it would be better," Alan said.

"Being a plumber is not the only thing you know how to do," Derek said.

"You have an amazing voice my love and you are an amazing musical artist in general," I said.

Alan looked at me.

"Believe her," Derek said as he left the room.

"Do you have that much faith in me?" Alan asked.

"I have all of the faith in you my love. I know great things are happening and no matter what you choose to do in life I am always going to be here," I said with a smile.

"Even if I went back to being a plumber and being on our farm together?" he asked.

"I said anything my love that means those two things," I said.

"I am going to have to think about it. I would love to be settled down at this point in my life," Alan said.

"I mean we are only 24 and 27 we have some time to figure it out. We will figure it out together," I said.

"I just feel like at 27 everyone else is so much further than I am in life. I mean I have a group finally getting off the ground but here I am questioning how much further I wanna go with it," Alan said.

"And that is okay. Everyone is different and their lives change at different times. You can't be so hard on yourself," I said.

"But I always have been so hard on myself so it is kind of hard to change my way of thinking," Alan said.

"That's what I am here for my love," I said as I kissed his lips softly.

He returned the kiss and smiled a little.

"You always know how to make me feel better. Don't you?" he asked.

"Part of my job," I said with a smile.

"What would I do without you?" he asked.

"I don't know but that is one thing you are never going to have to worry about," I said.

"I am so lucky," Alan said.

I pulled him into my arms. We had been sitting on the couch. 

I held him for a little bit of time and soon the boys returned. And Derek walked back into the room.

"Are you still thinking of leaving?" Derek asked.

"Leaving to where?" Eric asked.

"Alan was talking about leaving the group," Derek said.

"Me and Y/N talked about it and we are just going to take it day by day. I just want to make sure I am happy with what I choose to do," Alan said.

"Is that why she is holding you now?" Woody asked.

"He my baby," I said as I kissed his head.

"Why do you wanna leave though?" Les asked.

"I just feel like I need to be more settled at the age of 27. I have people around me who already have their lives in order meanwhile I don't know what tomorrow brings being in a band," Alan said.

"I get where you are coming from when you say that but like," Eric said.

"Whatever he chooses to do you guys will support him right?" I asked.

"Of course we will. If it was not for him this group never would have began in the first place," Les said.

"It is nice to know you guys are always here," Alan said.

"Of course we are going to be," Woody said.

"Even when life gets crazy we are all brothers even if not by blood besides you and Derek," Eric said.

"You guys truly are the best," Alan said.

"We know," Woody said with a chuckle.

"I just hope I can figure out what my heart wants," Alan said.

"I know one thing your heart wants but I will not tell the world," Derek said.

"Better not," Alan said.

"Okay, that could be one of many things," Eric said.

"Which we are not going to be talking about right now," Alan said.

"Right right," Les said as he walked into the kitchen.

Eric followed behind him.

"Well any other plans for the night?" Derek asked.

"I don't know," Alan said.

"I don't know either," I said.

"Wonderful," Derek said.